Sunday, May 9, 2010

Kansas Girl

A Mexican, an Arab, and a Kansas girl are in the 
same bar.
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 When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his 
glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He 
says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
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 The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks 
no-alcohol beer (cuz he's a Muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we 
have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
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 The Kansas girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her 
beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out
her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, 'In Kansas we have so many 
illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
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    God Bless Kansas

12 comments:

Amusing Bunni said...

That's a good one and made my day!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

She's a true American, Bunni.

banned said...

Sorry Woodie, could not read it, words and letters all over the place, maybe it's my IE settings or something.

tha malcontent said...

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.
'Good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children.'

The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING ! -- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.'
The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them
all over here . ... . and -- PING ! -- in the distance there could
be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.
'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand.
'Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero . And I want to have white skin like Americans
.. and -- PING ! -- The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore OriolesT-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'
.. . . .
The fairy said 'Tough shit, Amigo, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Banned, I hope it's fixed for you now.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Malcontent, Great story! Now get back to your blog and post that thing. There are so many stories out there, Aren't there?

DD2 aka Debonair Dude said...

there was a Russian, a Puerto Rican, and a New Yorker stranded in a boat way out in the Ocean.

The Russian gets up and takes out a bottle of Vodka takes one sip and throws the bottle overboard. the other get angry and say why did you do that?
The Russian says Oh in Russia we have so much Vodka we take one sip and throw rest away!
The Puerto Rican gets up takes out a bottle of Rum, takes one sip and throws the bottle overboard. the other get angry and say why did you do that? The says Oh in Russia we have so much Vodka we take one sip ant throw rest away! says, says Oh in Puerto Rico we have so much Rum we take one sip and throw the rest away!
The New Yorker gets up and pulls out a gun and shoots the Puerto Rican and throws him over board.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

DD2, I completely understand.

banned said...

Ta Woody, FAF!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Banned, one day you'll have to teach me your language.

Velcro said...

Love it!!!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Velcro, what REAL American won't, but I here to say buses work too.