Saturday, May 31, 2014

Awww Blondes ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 There was a blonde in the forest walking on little Red Hiding hood's trail when she spots the bad wolf. She tells him, 'Hey bad wolf, I see you and I'm not scared!' So the wolf runs away, but a few minutes later she spots him hidden in the forest again and tells him, 'Hey bad wolf, I see you and I'm not scared!' So the wolf runs away again, but after a few minutes she spots him hiding behind a tree again, and yells to him 'Sorry wolfie, I still see you and I am not scared.' The wolf sighs, shakes his head and says 'Geez, is there no place I can go to the bathroom without you watching me?'

Other Fans of Blondes Rule 5 ers:

Thursday, May 29, 2014

F-35 Take Off ... (FAKE?)

Facebook Comment:

"This guy clearly has brass and you know the sailors on the flight deck had a cow when they saw this unfold in front of them. Intentional? Hardly!
This is unbelievable!
F-35 unintentional loop at takeoff a real "check your laundry" event.
A supremely well-trained US Navy pilot, ice running in his veins instead of blood, fully regains control of his $70 million, F-35 joint strike force fighter, after a problematic vertical take-off attempt... Watch as the rear vertical thruster fires to cause the problem.
There's nothing about this the pilot enjoys. If he could have ejected at 100' upside down and lived, he would have. Looks like the afterburner kicks in while still vectored for vertical takeoff. Lockheed would call this a "software malfunction" and do a little more "regressive testing". This is a good demonstration of power-to-weight ratio of this aircraft! And talk about stability control... wow!
If he didn't come out of the loop wings-level, it probably would have been bad news; maybe taking some of the carrier with him!
Add to this flying through your own exhaust, which can lead to equipment malfunctions, as in "flame out". The F-35 is single engine aircraft with vertical takeoff/landing capability, but it has the aerodynamics of a Steinway piano at zero airspeed. This is the most unbelievable piece of flying you will ever see in your life.
This guy's coolness saved a 70 million-dollar aircraft! On the other hand, he might not have had time to react to anything except just ride it.
I bet you'll watch it at least 2 times!"

FAKE ? You be the Judge.

Part of a comment sent to me:
"That video clip is not actual footage. It is a video game.
Battlefield 3 to be exact. This carrier is stationed off of the Kharg Island map.
I should know, I have played this game for over 3 years now.

Look around.....
There are no support personnel...
There is no support equipment....
The environment is completely static around the aircraft....
And if that wasn't enough - when the plane rotates through its loop, the player ID tag rotates in tandem with the aircraft.
Yet people still believe that this is real."

My apologizes To anyone this footage my have fooled.
Hell, it fooled the crap out of me. I still enjoy it
every time I watch it. This was the fourth time it
was sent to me, so I posted it as being real. My reader,
that emailed me, was quite upset with me. Sorry Guy,
I just try and bring people joy, and this time I may
have goofed a bit. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Day Royalty Visited With We Simple Folk

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, "Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2014!"

"Great Nancy, but how?" asked Harry.

"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?"

"Yes we are!" said Nancy, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"

"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!"

Thank You, Julie Caesar, For This Wonderful Post

Monday, May 26, 2014

"Good Morning Vietnam"

 My War . . .

To the fallen - and to my friend Bill,
who's name is on this Wall -
God Bless You and Thank You!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Blondishnessnesser ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor’s 
dog starts barks and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes 
her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to 
those neighbors!' She runs out of the house and five minutes 
later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband 
asks 'So, what did you do?' The blonde says 'Well, I took the 
dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they 
like it having the neighbor’s dog barking all night.'

Other Blonder Rule 5 ers:

Friday, May 23, 2014

With Feeling . . .

The door knocker that keeps on delivering. Thanks Trailbee.
 Chuck is the friend at Facebook that keeps on giving.
 Get Him!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Wow ... Woodsterman Turns 5 Today

Yes, thanks to yous guys, Woodsterman turns the "big one"
today. Five years ago, today, THIS POST started it all.
There has been more than 1.5 million page views since
 that first day. I think I'll call this fictional character a
success. Thank you all for making it such great fun.
As before I'm at the same place Woodsterman the Blog
was born ... Yup R&R at GSR in Reno. This is my last day
so we celebrate. Going home rested up with Woodsterman.
The WiFi went to crap just now, so thank goodness for
Verizon Hotspot and an iPhone 5s to bypass a very busy
WiFi at the RV Park. That's what happens when everyone
under the suns checks in and turns on  their computers. Yes
it's actually the night before at 5:00.

 Breakfast dessert at a poker bar.
 GSR RV Park and Casino, Reno, NV
Old Betsy

I just looked this little fact up; this my 2130th post. No wonder
I'm having to look harder for posts these days. 

Here's some more history:

Do you remember this awards ceremony?
 Congrats from my personal hero.
 Just another admirer.
And we can't forget Mrs. Woodsterman.

So kids let me leave you with one of my favorite posts:

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A Quiz


Six Trivia  Questions

Six trivia questions to see how  much history you really know.
Be honest, it's kinda fun and revealing.
If  you don't know the answer make your best guess.

Answer all of the questions (no cheating)  before looking at the answers.

And no, the answers to these questions  isn't always "Barack  Obama"

Who said  it?

1) "We're going to take things away  from you on 
behalf of the common good."
  A. Karl  Marx
  B. Adolph  Hitler
  C. Joseph  Stalin
  D. Barack  Obama
  E. None of the  above

2) "It's time for a new beginning,  

for an end to government of the few, by
the few, and for the  few...... And to replace it with shared
responsibility, for shared  prosperity."

A.  Lenin
  B.  Mussolini
  C. Idi  Amin
  D. Barack  Obama
  E. None of the  above

3) "(We).....can't just let  business as usual go on, 

and that means
something has to be taken away from  some people."
  A.  Nikita  Khrushev
  B.  Joseph  Goebbels
  C. Boris  Yeltsin
  D. Barack  Obama
  E. None of the  above

4) "We have to build a political  consensus 

and that requires people to give
up a little bit of their own  ... in order to create 

this common ground."

A. Mao Tse  Dung
  B. Hugo  Chavez
  C. Kim Jong  II
  D. Barack  Obama
  E. None of the  above

5) "I certainly think the  free-market has failed."

A.  Karl  Marx
  B.  Lenin
  C.  Molotov
  D. Barack  Obama
  E. None of the  above

6) "I think it's time to send a  clear message to what has become the most
profitable sector in (the)  entire economy that they are being watched."

A.  Pinochet
  B.  Milosevic
  C. Saddam  Hussein
  D. Barack  Obama
  E. None of the  above

Scroll down for  answers

(1) E. None of the  above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton  6/29/2004
(2) E. None of the  above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton  5/29/2007
(3) E. None of the  above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton  6/4/2007
(4) E. None of the  above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton  6/4/2007
(5) E. None of the  above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton  6/4/2007
(6) E. None of the  above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton  9/2/2005

Want to know something  scary? She may be the next president if we don't
make sure that the word gets out.

Thanks David!