Sunday, September 21, 2014

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Blondes 'R Us ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. 
They were all trapped on an island and the nearest 
shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam 
 trying to make it to the other shore she swam 
15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 
24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 
25 miles, got tired, and swam back.



Thank You Ladies !

Other Rule 5 ers 'R Us:
 


Friday, September 19, 2014

Before You Jump

A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, 
trying to get the nerve up to jump.
A passing hobo stops and says, "Since you're about to 
kill yourself anyway, would you mindif we had sex first?"

 The woman said "Hell no...get away from me...you sicko!"

 The bum turned to leave and muttered, 
"Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."

Thanks David

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

War on Women ~OR~ HOW OLD GUYS PICK UP CHICKS


I am getting on in years and not the best looking guy anymore.
Some would even say I'm a little frayed around the edges....
 
But, I have a nice car, a little money, and I spend most of my time
casually traveling from place to place and enjoying life.
 
I met a nice looking girl in a park the other evening.
There was an instant spark between us.
 
All of a sudden, she did this cute little dance, then immediately
dropped to her knees and lay on the grass at my feet.
 
As we lay there making love, I thought .......
 
"Wow, these Taser guns are really worth the money!!"
 
Thanks Trailbee

Monday, September 15, 2014

Sex In The Shower


IN A RECENT SURVEY CARRIED OUT BY "BRUT", A
LEADING TOILETRIES FIRM; PEOPLE FROM CHICAGO 
HAVE PROVED TO BE THE MOST LIKELY TO HAVE HAD 
SEX IN THE SHOWER. IN THE SURVEY, 86% OF 
CHICAGO'S INNER CITY RESIDENTS (MOST OF WHOM
ARE REGISTERED DEMOCRATS) SAY THAT THEY HAVE 
ENJOYED SEX IN THE SHOWER.

 THE OTHER 14% HAD NOT BEEN TO PRISON YET!

SORT OF BRINGS TEARS TO YOUR EYES!

Thank You Trailbee!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Hello -- I Still Have More Questions


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with 
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their 
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it 
and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will 
ever open from the first end you try?

How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's 
falling off the table you always manage to 
knock something else over?

Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it 
was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons 
is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your 
three best friends. 
If they're OK..? (then it's you!)

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Special Watch ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style


A Marine Helo pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat 
next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his 
watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 
“Is your date running late?”
 
 

No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, 
and I was just testing it.”
 
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? 
What’s so special about it?”

The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
 
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”
 
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
 
The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”
 
And that, my friends…......is Confidence!