Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Beer!


A Woman gets out of her Prius, walks into a bar 
and sits down next to a guy drinking a beer.
 
Woman: I see you drink beer.
 
Man: Yup
 
Woman: How many beers a day?
 
Man: Usually about 3
 
Woman: How much do you pay for each beer?
 
Man: About $5.00 including the tip
 
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
 
Man: Maybe 20 years, I guess.
 
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which 
puts your spending each month at $450.
So in one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
 
Man: Yup.
 
Woman: For each year that you spend $5,400, not accounting 
for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, 
correct?
 
Man: Yup.
 
Woman: Did you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, 
that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings 
account and, after accounting for compound interest for the 
past 20 years, you could have bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink beer?
 
Woman: No.
 
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

Thanks Bob

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Monday, May 2, 2016

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXXVII



I was in a pet shop when I noticed a Muslim girl with the
most amazingly colored parrot perched on her shoulder.

"Where did you get that from?" I asked.
 

"Germany. There's fricking thousands of 'em!" said the parrot.

Thanks David 

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Vacation Genie



While walking on a beach during one of his many vacations, 
Obama found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, 
a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, 
“Master, may I grant you one wish?”

Obama responded, “Don’t you know who I am? I don’t 
need any common woman giving me anything.”

The shocked genie said, “Please, I must grant you a wish or 
I will be returned to that bottle forever.”

Obama thought a moment, then after grumbling about the 
impertinence of the woman said, “Very well, I want to awaken 
with three white women in my bed in the morning – 
so just do it and be off with you.”

The annoyed genie said, “So be it!” and disappeared.

The next morning Obama awakened with Lorena Bobbitt, 
    Tonya Harding, and Nancy Pelosi in his bed.

 His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.



 God is good.

Thanks Bob

Friday, April 29, 2016

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Monday, April 25, 2016

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style XXXXVI


Happy Spring Flower sniffers!!! 

It's rare to find an individual who doesn't like flowers, and from these pictures, apparently the same can be said for animals! View foxes, kittens and even an owl enjoying their sweet scents in this heart warming photo series: