Wednesday, June 30, 2010

California vs. Arizona


The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. 
A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" 
and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the 
State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the 
State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked 
for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game 
conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of 
dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a 
"coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better 
treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease 
throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack 
somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California : $75,000 to hire and train 
a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature
of coyotes. 

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.


The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. 
A Coyote jumps out, tries to bite her and attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and 
keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.55 on a .45 ACP hollow 
point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that's why California is broke.

Thanks David

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

NewsBusted 6/29/10 ~

Those Wacky Walmart Shoppers Again IV

 Big Bird, you are doing an absolutely horrible job of trying to cover up and hide!
 Since we stopped going to the moon............ Or clean up on aisle 9 (bad stuff)
That is one tall drink of water!
I feel that people just don't know me. And are quick to judge who I am.
(or if I steal these thongs, will anyone notice?)
Is there any other way to pick the best toy? You may say wearing a shirt would help, but I think not.
(Oh look, someone caught Woodsterman on camera...)

That's All Folks !



Monday, June 28, 2010

Those Wacky Walmart Shoppers Again III

 If Mary here asks if you want to see the little!
I feel like I've seen this guy in every Walmart.
  I have to assume those paw prints are actually some animal she swallowed whole trying to fight its way out.
It looks like one of those Bratz dolls came to life!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Those Wacky Walmart Shoppers Again II

Why are all these guys following me everywhere?

Oh!! It looks like Pirates of the Caribbean went horribly, horribly wrong!
Not even close to a treasure! Just take what you want and leave us all alone!

I appreciate the effort in trying to add some flare to your matching grey sweats combo,
 but it was probably better without the port holes and the stringy fringe balls that a cat
wouldn't even play with.

If you start at the bottom and slowly work your way up, you will literally
forget it's a dude every time and shock yourself over and over again!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Woodsterman, the patriotic dirty old man, is humbled

I have to run out the door to a show shortly, but
first I wanted to share this with you. I Woodsterman,
the "Beloved Character" Fuzzy once called me, am
quite humbled. You all, my friends, honor this silly
blog with your visits. You all know who you are, and 
I owe you many thanks and value your friendship.


Thank You All, Love Woodsterman (Odie)

Those Wacky Walmart Shoppers Again

Woodsterman has a busy weekend, so this
silliness was posted ahead of time just for you.
I think that triangle is a scratch-n-sniff. Go on, try it.
It's Valentines Day in Walmart
Well, if you are going to camp out and squat someplace, then right by the cash register seems smart. 
How much attention do you possibly crave that you feel the need to attach 3 air-horns to the top of a bike helmet?
Honestly, Somebody please get this mans mother and have her hug him for once!

Hat Tip to Bunni at ~ Amusing Bunni's Musings ~

Friday, June 25, 2010

NewsBusted 6/25/10 ~

Do We Ever ..... Well, Maybe

If you look at my blog roll, you'll see 
"Out of Order the Blog". Also know as 
Daletoons, Dale is the Author / Cartoonist
/ Artist and deserves a visit. I personally 
think he is the best around at his art.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Look What I Stole From Bunni's ...

I was sitting there, minding my own business,
watching a YouTube video at Bunni's. Then all
of a sudden this ad pops up at the bottom. I
couldn't be happier to see it ... enjoy !

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

New Antiseptic From Scotland ...

How Sad, the world is laughing at the US while we
sit by and watch and wonder what will happen next!

NewsBusted 6/22/10 ~

The Ant and the Grasshopper ... Today


Two Different Versions....
...Two Different Morals


The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter,
so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be responsible for yourself!


The ant works hard in the withering heat
and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant  is a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a
press conference and demands to know
why the  ant  should be allowed to be warm and
well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,  and  ABC  show up
to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the  ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor  grasshopper  is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog  appears on  Oprah  with the
grasshopper  and everybody cries when
they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'

ACORN  stages a demonstration in front of
the  ant's  house where the news stations
film the group singing,  We shall overcome.
Then  Rev. Jeremiah Wright  has the group kneel
down to pray to God for the  grasshopper's   sake.  

President Obama condemns the   ant  and
blames  President Bush, President Reagan,
Christopher Columbus, and the Pope
for the  grasshopper's  plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid  exclaim in an
interview with  Larry King  that the  ant  has
gotten rich off the back of  the  grasshopper ,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the
ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic
Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act  retroactive
to the beginning of the summer.

The  ant  is fined for failing to hire a proportionate
number of green bugs   and, having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the

Government Green Czar  and given to the  grasshopper .

The story ends as we see the  grasshopper  and
his free-loading friends finishing up the last
bits of the  ants  food while the government
house he is in, which, as you recall,
just happens to be the  ant's  old house,
crumbles around them because the
grasshopper  doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders  who terrorize the ramshackle,
once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be careful how you vote in 2010. 

I've posted this because I know that you are ants, 
not grasshoppers!  Make sure that you pass this on to
other ants.  Don't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers
because they wouldn't understand it, anyway..

Monday, June 21, 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I had to post this before you other crazies did ...

Parenting Skills IV

Behind every great child is a great parent....

The one above I wrestled with and good sense lost.

That's All Folks ...

Happy Fathers Day !

Thanks Dan

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Parenting Skills III

Behind every great child is a great parent....

 Thanks Dan

Friday, June 18, 2010

NewsBusted 6/18/10 ~

Those Great Inventors Never Stop ...

FLASH ... A New Cell Phone for Seniors ...
I could use me one of them.

Thanks David

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Parenting Skills II

Behind every great child is a great parent....
Thanks Dan

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

President Obama Surrenders To Mexico !

The more I hear about this BLM sign, the madder
I get.  We are surrendering part of our sovereign
nation to Mexico and its many criminal factions.
The United States Government (lead by the 
Golden Pantload / Head Snake Oil Salesman)
has told its citizens that this part of the country
is off limits. OB's solution to the boarder problem
is to hide it from US.
Hat tip to Feed Your ADHD (go see his video)
and Virtual Mirage (where I stole the photo)

Parenting Skills

Behind every great child is a great parent....

Thanks Dan !



Tuesday, June 15, 2010

NewsBusted 6/15/10 ~

Military Humor ... 4

 The End 


Monday, June 14, 2010

Happy Flag Day ...

Hat Tip to Operation Red, White, & Blue

Old Glory

Military Humor ... 3

"How close was I Boy?"