Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Best Bumper Sticker Award Winner !

Woodsterman Awards this as the BEST !

The Wooden Leg ...

A man and his wife, moved back home to Kentucky from 
West Virginia. The husband had a wooden leg, and to 
insure it back in West Virginia cost them $2000 per year!
When they arrived in Kentucky they went to an insurance 
agency to see how much it would cost to insure his 
wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.'
The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap 
here in Kentucky to insure it because it cost him $2000 
in West Virginia!  

The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the 
couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: 
Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above
it, is $39... You just have to know how to describe it!
( HILLBILLIES know how "to git'er done")

Thanks David

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Contrast ....

America's Great Apologizer
America's Great Cheerleader 
One bows to men and one bows to God.
Nuff Said !

"Sort Of A Shimmy"

A woman ran over a mattress on  the highway,
and decided not to worry--and kept on driving.          

The ensuing jumble  finally whipped around enough to bang a hole in the fuel tank...   

The Subsequent Lack Of Fuel Is What Finally  

Brought Her Vehicle To Its Knees..

She Had Still Managed  To Drive 30 More Miles
With A 60-Pound Tangle of Stuff Wrapped Around  Her Drive Shaft.

She Had it Towed To Her Dealership And  Complained
That The Vehicle Had A "Sort Of Shimmy"
When She Was  Driving At High Speeds.

Below are the photos of what they  

found at her dealership.....................

The  last photo is by far the best.   
Is this just the best or what?
                They Still Can't Believe Their  Eyes.
            And Still Wondering How To Remove It!
                .....hand me that long screwdriver,  Earl...

Thanks Dan

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Silly Man !

Did you know Al had a rally in Washington too?
I didn't know either !

The Merits of Beer

        Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel
ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think,
"It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
                                                                                    ~~ Babe Ruth
            "I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

                                                                                    ~~ Lyndon B. Johnson 
            "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
                                                                                    ~~ Paul Horning
            "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think
                                                                                    ~~ H. L. Mencken   
            "When we drink, we get drunk.  When we get drunk, we fall
asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin  When we commit no sin,
we go to heaven.  So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
                                                                                    ~~ George Bernard Shaw
            "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.."
                                                                                    ~~ Benjamin Franklin
            "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
                                                                                    ~~ Dave Barry
            Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!
                                                                                    ~~ W. C. Fields
            Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
                                                                                    ~~ Professor Irwin Corey
            To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in
a can!
                                                                                    ~~ Leo Durocher
            One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory"
to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.  A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is
the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain
can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake
of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, it attacks
the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain
a faster and more efficient machine!  That's why you always feel smarter
after a few beers.."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Saturday, August 21, 2010

NewsBusted 8/20/10 ~ NewsBusted.org

The Devil ...

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin 
all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got
to call the USA so cheaply. 

The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama
took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

Friday, August 20, 2010

Your Government At Work ...

You will love this one, I haven't stopped laughing yet.....
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, 
or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails 
placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the 
roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), 
to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some 
reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably
because they fear getting their feet caught between 
the rails.

A few months ago, President Obama received and was 
reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle 
guards in Colorado . Colorado ranchers had protested 
his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered 
the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the 
"cattle guards" immediately!!

Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and 
presumably try to straighten him out, Vice-President 
Joe Biden intervened with a request that… before any 
"cattle guards" were fired, they be given 
six months of retraining.

You can't fix stupid ! 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Those Wascally Walmart Shoppers VII

Yes!!!!!  Blue is definitely your color! 
I was not aware that barbers were still using the salad bowl as a styling instrument.
WOW!  That’s so cool!  JanSport came out with a new flesh colored fanny-pack….wait….hold on….can it be….is it…..OH MY DEAR GOD!
I would like to officially nominate those pants for worst color option EVER!  Are you serious with that?   “Hey, let’s get skin-tight pants, make them in sizes where the words  ’skin-tight’  should be off-limits, and then produce them in a flesh color.”  What a great idea!
Ya really think ya gonna  be needing those condoms there, big fella?    

Thanks Dan 


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

American Perspective is Born

Opus#6 (Opie) our good buddy in the blogosphere got
a case of restless blog syndrome. We've all suffered from
it too. We'll change looks, our blog host, or our template.
But, this woman has gone nuts and changed her name.
Don't look for "MAinfo" any longer. The new name is
now "American Perspective". So, boys and girls please
change your blog rolls to reflect the name change. 

I don't care what you do to confuse me Opus#6, you'll
always be the beloved "OPIE" here.

Those Wascally Walmart Shoppers VI

I'll bet you thought you were done with these.
Oh no you weren't .......
OH DAMN, Santa is WORKIN’  it.
HEY! HEY! ---HOLD STILL!!!   There’s a  f***in’ jellyfish on your head!   HOLD STILL SO I CAN GET IT OFF!!!   
Damn.  Now THOSE are some nice……????? Oh, her head's on backwards.
Before he died, did Elvis get a poodle pregnant?  I don’t know, I’m not here to judge....….Okay,  I am........but still......
How the hell did the White Witch of Narnia come through the wardrobe?


Saturday, August 14, 2010

Magic green hat ......

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my 

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left.

I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.

Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the hat.

It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, 
I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

But……. Don't try it at McDonald's though.

The whole crew got up and left and l never got my order!!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Texan Reaction to Arizona Immigration Issue

Picture taken this past Saturday in front of El Arroyo in Austin on 5th st.

Ray Stevens - Come to the USA

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Red Green and the Hardtop Convertible

At my channel at YouTube there are about 40 Red Green
videos. I have a link here that takes you right to that Playlist.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

NewsBusted 8/10/10 ~ NewsBusters.org

Stunning cartoon from 1934...WOW!

Keep in mind that this is from 1934!!!

This cartoon was in the Chicago Tribune in 1934. Look carefully at the plan of action in the lower left corner.
Remember the adage: 
"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."  

Monday, August 9, 2010

Those Wascally Walmart Shoppers V

OH COME ON!  Are you actually going to stand there and tell me you don't even feel a breeze?
 Hey!  They don’t make 'tube-bottoms' for a reason.
 "I’m sorry sir, but those Christmas hams put you over the 12 item limit for this line."
 ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS:  "Warm weather is now here as we start the summer, and so is the unfortunate “Swamp Ass” epidemic.  Be aware-- and try to stay dry.
 The irony here is overwhelming.  I’m just going to sit back and let you soak it in.