Monday, March 31, 2014


Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit............


This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and 
sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, 
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your 
hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over 
there instead of you."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess 
what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose  
patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said,  "Yesterday."
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty who gives a shit?


I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing 
on a table. I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really 
think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed 
by now." When you are over sixty who gives a shit?

Thanks Dan !

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sillinesser Sunday

~ AND ~
Every day, a male employee walks up very close 
to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.
He stops, inhales quite deeply and 
says that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, the woman 
can't stand it any more.
She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources 
and ask to file an harassment grievance against the guy.
The supervisor is puzzled and asks,
"What's threatening about a co-worker
telling you your hair smells nice?"
"It's Frank, the midget.”

Thank You Trailbee !

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Monday, March 24, 2014

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Greeks ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Greek Smoking Ban

There is no way the Greeks will 
be able to control their economy 
and meet the terms of the bailout 
by the EEC and the IMF.

They can't even enforce the 
No Smoking regulations!

A Greek law has banned smoking 
in restaurants since 7/1/09.

Look how many cigarettes are in 

the ashtray on the right in this photo 

taken at a Greek restaurant...

Look at that ashtray     
 The ashtray...   
The ashtray!   

Thank You Trailbee! 

Other Greekish Rule 5 ers:

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Sunday, March 16, 2014


You know there are so many TV channels, 
each one starved for new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter 
seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged 
for an interview with a farmer who might have some t
heories on the matter.

This “TRUE” interview went as follows:

The lady reporter:  “I am here to collect information on 
the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease.
Can you offer any reason for this disease?”

The farmer stared at the reporter and said?  
“Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only 
once a year”?

Reporter: (obviously embarrassed):  “Well, sir, that's a 
new piece of information but what's the relation between 
this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”

Farmer:  “Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”

Reporter:  “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what 
about getting to the point?”

Farmer:  “I am getting to the point, Miss.”  “Just imagine, 
if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only 
screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?”


Thanks Dan !

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Bunch of Bull ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black 
Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate 
grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow. I was beginning 
to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. 
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. 
He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a 
little young, so he gave me some pills to feed 
him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, 
all my cows! He even broke through the fence and 
bred with all of my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!
 I don’t know what was in the pills the Vet gave him . . . . .
but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Oh OK Girls ... this one's for you !
Thanks Dan !

Other Western Rule 5 ers:

NewsBusted 3/14/14 ~

Friday, March 14, 2014

The $50.00 Lesson

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in front 
yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home 
from walking their dog. 

During our friendly conversation, I asked their 12 year old 
daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents who are Socialists were standing there, so I asked her, "If  you were President what would be the first thing you would  do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the  homeless people."

Her parents  beamed with pride!
"Wow!  what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're  President to do that!" I told her.

 "What do you mean?"  she replied.

So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you  $50.  Then you can go over to
the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a  new house."
She thought that over for a few  seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't  the homeless guy come over and do the
work, and you can just pay him  the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents  aren't speaking to me, anymore.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I Need's Ta Make Me One Of Them

I'd better git ta work . . .

Thanks Trailbee !

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

OK,Who Did This,This Weekend ?

Did you move forward as required?
Don’t forget to move it back later.
Thanks Dan !