Thursday, September 30, 2010

Another ObamaCare Nightmare

Did you know that if you sell your house after 2012 you will pay a 3.8% sales tax on it?

That's $3,800 on a $100,000 home etc.
 When did this happen? It's in the healthcare bill. 
Just thought you should know.



So, this is "change you can believe in"?

Under the new health care bill - did you know that all real estate transactions will be subject to a 3.8% Sales Tax?  The bulk of these new taxes don't kick in until 2013 (presumably after obama's re-election).  You can thank Nancy, Harry and Barack and your local Democrat Congressman for this one.  If you sell your $400,000 home, there will be a $15,200 tax.  This bill is set to screw the retiring generation who often downsize their homes.  Is this Hope & Change great or what?  Does this stuff makes your November and 2012 votes more important?

Oh, you weren't aware this was in the obamacare bill? Guess what, you aren't alone. There are more than a few members of Congress that aren't aware of it either (result of clandestine midnight voting for huge bills they've never read). AND, there are a few other surprises lurking.

Why am I posting this?  The same reason I hope you tell this to every single person you know.
An election is coming in NOvember!


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Four of Earth's Famous and Amazing Holes

Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California
A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir. It is the largest spillway of this type in the world. 
It consumes 14,400 cubic feet of water every second.

Great Blue Hole , Belize 
This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize . There are numerous blue holes around the world, but none as stunning as this one. 

Sinkhole in Guatemala 

These photos are of a sinkhole that occurred early this year in Guatemala.... The hole swallowed 2 dozen homes and killed at least 3 people. 

RAT HOLE in Washington D.C. . 
It is capable of swallowing trillions and trillions of U.S. Dollars-annually!
The money that falls into this hole is never heard from again!  
 It is reputed to be filled with at least 535 ass 'holes'. 

Thanks, Eric & Allison 


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

NewsBusted 9/28/10 ~

History of Railroad Tracks

The   US  standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England and English expatriates designed the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways and that's the gauge they used. 
 Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the
tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial   Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including   England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
 And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
 Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.
The next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just
wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.
(Two horses' butts.)
Now - the twist to the story:
A Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad has two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah . Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be
shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. 
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as 
two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass!

And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

Ancient horse's asses control almost everything. 
CURRENT Horses Asses in Washington are controlling everything else.

Remember to Vote in NOvember!

Thanks Dan

Monday, September 27, 2010

Open Letter From Michelle

Dear Americans,

For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country.
I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242,000   

dollars for my vacation in Spain . My daughter Sasha, several long-time
family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time.
Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500 per
night suite at a 5-Star luxury hotel. Thank you also for the use of Air
Force 2 and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we
were safe and cared for at all times.

Air Force 2 only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon
emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates,
but they are close. That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al
Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller,
more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined
carbon footprint.

I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on
the table and trying to make ends meet. I do appreciate your sacrifice and
do hope you find work soon. I was really exhausted after Barack took our
family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get  

away for a few days.


Michelle Obama

(Thanks, John)

Saturday, September 25, 2010


A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is 
the greatest of the three of them.

The Cow:  I give 50 liters of milk every day 
and that's why I am the greatest!!

The Ant:  I work day and night, summer and winter, 
I can carry 52 times my own weight and 
that's why I am the greatest!!

Why are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say something...

Friday, September 24, 2010

NewsBusted 9/24/10 ~

When You're Asked to Donate ....

Keep these facts in mind when "donating".

As you open your pockets for yet another natural 
disaster, keep these facts in mind:

Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the 
American Red Cross... 
Salary for year ending 06/30/03 was $651,957 plus expenses. 
(That's $74.42 an hour for EVERY hour of EVERY day.) 

Brian Gallagher, President of the United Way receives 
a $375,000 base salary, plus numerous expense benefits. 
(That's $42.80 an hour for EVERYhour of EVERY day.) 

UNICEF CEO receives $1,200,000 per year plus all expenses 
and a ROLLS ROYCE car where ever he goes and only 
cents of your dollar goes to the cause.
(That's $1369.86 an hour for EVERY hour of EVERY day.) 

The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives 
a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) 
for managing this $2 billion dollar organization.

No further comment is necessary. Think about
this the next time you're asked to reach for your checkbook. 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Advice From A Sex Therapist

Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a 
gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual 
striptease in front of an old red John Deere.

Buttocks clenched. he performs a slow pirouette, then hunches
his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his
suspenders fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips 
over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his check shirt, he rips it apart to reveal 
his tea-stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap onto a pile of hay.

"What in the world are you doing, Mick?" says Paddy.

"Jeez, Paddy, ye frightened the livin' bejasus out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Mick, "but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

NewsBusted 9/21/10 ~

New Test For Older Adults:

How fast can you guess these words?

1. F_ _K 
2 . PU_S_ 
3 . S_X   
4. P_N_S   
5. BOO_S 
6 . _ _NDOM 


3 . SIX 
4 . PANTS 
5 . BOOKS 

You got all 6 wrong.... didn't you?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Bad Day ...

"Well, what'cha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, 
as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, 
"I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a grown 
man cry."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete 
failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.  
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been 
stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in 
the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the 
gardener, and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an 
end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here 
watching the arsenic dissolve.  Then some jack-ass shows 
up and drinks the whole thing!"  

"But enough about me, how's your day going?"

Monday, September 20, 2010

For All You Aircraft Buffs ....

Aircraft Quiz

What is the biggest advantage of
rotary-wing aircraft over fixed-wing aircraft?

Damn, sure guessed wrong on that answer.
I wasn’t even close.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Why Boys Need Their Parents 4 ....

We'll do a little round up here of boys
will be boys photos. Guys, did you find
yourself yet?
Spike you're looking real good.
Now lets play tic-tac-toe.
Now where did Mommy put those cookies?
Daddy, why isn't Mommy laughing too?
Look at my smiley face ... mmm, this tastes good!

Thanks David

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Why Boys Need Their Parents 3 ....

Don't be silly ... of course there's more.
We guys have bundles to show you.
I had to put my buddy somewhere while I shielded my eyes.
I have my escape route all picked out already.
I took care of all those hurts, Mommy.
 Where's your ..... ?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Why Boys Need Their Parents 2 ....

Guys, aren't we still these kids at heart?
Hey Guys, I need help filling this pot.
Where did I leave that rake?
Hey Mom Look, I comed apart.
Only one half to go.
The stuff my dreams are made of ...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Why Boys Need Their Parents ....

    Just in case you wondered how we guys got this way....
We haven't really changed have we ?
Smile !
My friend is circumcised and I will be soon.
Robbin, hang on there little buddy, I'm on my way.
Little Cowabunga Dude
My Great, Great, Great Grandfather is Ben Franklin.

Thanks Uncle David ~ Happy Birthday to my son Tom.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

NewsBusted 9/14/10 ~


This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, the Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if Arizona's Immigration Law is not repealed, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America's supply of Convenience Store Managers and possibly Motel 6 & Super 8 Managers.

And, if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL and AOL Customer Service Reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to send us no more candidates for President of the United States!

Folks, it's gonna get ugly!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Obama's Picture

Still undecided where to put Obama's picture?

George Washington, our nation's first president 
and leader of the American Revolution!
Abe Lincoln, honorable leader pulled our 
nation through its darkest time!
Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first secretary of the 
treasury and leader of the Constitutional Convention!
Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory " fought the 
British in New Orleans !
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the 
North through the Civil War!
Ben Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist 
and leading author of the Constitution.

Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp!!!!!!!

Obama's policies, by design, will put more people on 
welfare than any president before him so this placement 
is most appropriate. Unlike the Nobel Peace Prize, 
for which he did nothing, this is an "honor" he richly deserves.

Thanks John by way of A Daily Laugh (hat/tip)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

John Talignani of Flight 93 - Project 2996

This was put here simply to update your sidebar
blogrolls. The original post is below. John Talignani
is my 911 Tribute. Link to Project 2996

Friday, September 10, 2010

John Talignani of Flight 93 ~ Project 2996

John Talignani

Today Woodsterman is Non-political and gives tribute to an 
American Hero, John Talignani. He along with the other 
passengers of Flight 93 gave his life for his country, for no 
other reason than it was the right thing to do.

Since retiring in the mid-1990s, John Talignani had ordered 
anything and everything from television, cluttering his cramped 
apartment in Staten Island, N.Y., with an endless variety of 
appliances and memorabilia.

A retired bartender who schmoozed with the likes of 
Donald Trump and Dick Clark during his 20 years at 
a tony Manhattan steakhouse, Talignani just couldn't 
resist the pitches on QVC.

His home was filled with juicers, toasters, carpet shampoo, 
pasta makers, model cars, baseball memorabilia, a cavalry 
sword, chainsaws, and a pair of Woodstock tickets.

"The worst thing is, I don't know what to do with it," 
Talignani's stepson, Mitchell Zykofsky, said.
Like many bartenders, Talignani excelled at listening, 
to customers and to his family, which included three 
stepsons from his third and final marriage.

With his even temper, he took to his late wife Selma's 
children as if they were his own, practically raising 
them during the 20 years the couple was married.

Talignani hustled the youngest to tryouts with professional 
baseball teams, took pains to act as a sounding board for 
Mitchell, the oldest, when he wrestled with career decisions, 
and had boarded Flight 93 to head for California, where a 
car crash had just claimed the middle child.

"I credit most of whatever I've done to this day to his help," 
said Zykofsky, a New York City police sergeant.

The burly Talignani grew up playing stickball on the streets.
He entered Japan after World War II with the Army, and
never went to college. He was crazy about the New York 
Mets and had a soft spot for women.

"Sometimes you go out on a date with a girl and say goodbye 
at the end of the date," his brother Armand recalled. "He used 
to say, 'Let's get married.' " But he was no wine-and-dine 
Casanova, his stepson said, noting the longevity of his final 

Once, Zykofsky recalled, he visited the Palm Too restaurant, 
where his stepfather worked, to find Talignani talking to actor 
George C. Scott. When Talignani came home, though, he never 
crowed about the big shots he met. His stories instead were 
always about the workaday regulars, 
whom he found more interesting.

Hat/Tip to

NewsBusted 9/10/10 ~

Best Sign Award !

Best hand painted sign of the week!!!!
Nothing but class here at Woodsterman.

Thursday, September 9, 2010