Monday, December 31, 2012


Yup ... they're flying now!

 "They're paid for and I want everyone to appreciate them!"
 Somehow I ALWAYS manage to sit next to this person.
 "You did say free refills, right?"
 Words Fail me ! ! !
Just how long was his flight delayed?

Thanks David!


Sunday, December 30, 2012

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Help Wanted ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Job applicant email:

To hoom it mae consern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type reale quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.



PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a picktere of me.
 Employer's (Woodsterman) response:

Dear Brianna ,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

See you Monday

Thanks Dan! 

Other Rule 5 ers:

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Perfect Retirement Planning

This one is one of the best. From The London Times:

A Well-Planned Retirement

Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars, about $1.40, for buses about $7.

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility. The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee. The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (or some such scenario), is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own; and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars!
And no one even knows his name.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My New Neighbor

This is my new neighbor:
She is single...
And lives right across the street.
I can see her house from my living room.
I watched her as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.
She knocked on my door...
I rushed to open it.
She looks at me, and says, "I just got home and I am so horny! I have this
Strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!
Are you busy tonight?"
I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!"
Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you please watch my dog?"
This being a senior citizen sucks!!!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas To You All !

Merry Christmas from the Woodsterman !
This is my favorite Christmas video ... enjoy!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas Woodsterman Style

Well boys and girls it's Christmas Eve.
All us guys would love to see these
beauties under our tree, but instead we
find Santa passed out from too much 

Merry Christmas to all my favorite
visitors. You know who you are.

Other Rule 5 ers:

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree . . .

I finally got the tree up!
Decided to stay with an artificial tree.
What an easy job!

Just love the smell of pine! *****

Merry Christmas Everyone !

(And may it be as un-PC as I am)

Friday, December 21, 2012

NewsBusted 12/21/12 ~

Good Morning Folks ... wait let me check something
here ... Yes it's official ... I'm still here. So far our
world is still here. So, while I have you attention:


Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Harley-Davidson Facts

 The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, 
Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '

Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'
God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, 
you have some major design flaws in your invention !
 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension.

 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much.

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, MORE MEN are riding my invention than yours'.

Thank You Nominedeus

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Monday, December 17, 2012