Thursday, May 31, 2012

Now I Remember Why I Moved Here

 Yes indeed ... the old Woodsterman pushed himself
away from the computer and wood shop and let his
neighbor show off his new/used boat. Not a bite did
we get. Also, just up ahead along this shoreline was
a Bald Eagle. Dummy here didn't take a picture, but
I thought I was too far away. Duh I could have photo
chopped it. 

Yes that is the Woodsterman. Do I look anything 
like you thought?
Is that pretty or what ....

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Presidents In Uniform

WOW ... Nuff said !
Our President above and "theirs" below.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Thank You Mr. President on this Memorial Day

 I am a Vietnam Vet and love President Reagan's 
words on this video ... Thank you Mr. President!

Below is what I posted two Memorial Days ago.
Bill's name is on this wall, so these two tie
together well. 


"A Personal Dedication This Day" 

Growing, I had a best friend who's life was cut short
while serving in Vietnam. Today, Woodsterman,
dedicates this page to him. From age 11 to the time
Vietnam separated us, you never saw one of us 
without the other.

At the time of his death, I was in advanced training
at Fort Ord, California. My sister called to inform me
of his death and passed on a request from his parents
that I be a pallbearer at his funeral. I did so proudly
in uniform.

During my own time in Vietnam, there was not a day
I didn't think of him. We also had some wild 
conversations during that year.

Below is his information obtained from the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial Wall - Virtual Wall. This site is
dedicated to the Memorial in Washington DC. You
can visit this site if you are unable to go the real one in person.

Click the photos to enlarge.

Above are photos I made of Bill's Page at
the Virtual Wall. If you want to see the real
thing and can't make it to Washington, this
is a must see. Below is a link to the Virtual
Wall and one to Bill's Page.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Can You Please Help ?

Dear Friends,

There are less than six months until election day when the 

people will decide who will be the next President of the 
United States . The person elected will  be the President 
of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans.

It's time that we all need to come together, Democrats and 

Republicans alike, in a bi-partisan effort for America .

If you will support Mitt Romney, please drive with your 

headlights ON during the day.

If you support Barack Obama, please drive with your 

headlights OFF at night.

Together, we can make it happen. Thank you!!

Thank You David !


I thought I would show you a tradition as of
late around here. Yes that's my barbecue in the
garage because it's snowing. That's the Memorial Weekend tradition ... SNOW!
That's why I got an electric Weber. What a 
great idea ... no open flame in the entrance of
the garage. Oh, you ask what was on? 
 Spareribs of course. 
 It's a "SNOWBECUE"  

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Spear Fishing ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

 I've never been spearfishing but I'm fairly sure this isn't how it's supposed to end up. 
I think he may have been distracted just a little.

And for you girls ... Here's one for you too

Other Rule 5 ers:

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Government Scrap Yard

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap 
yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said someone may steal from it at night; 
so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position 
and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman 
do his job without instruction?"

So they created a planning position and hired two people, 
one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and 
one person to do time studies, GS-11.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night 
watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, 
one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, 
GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable 
for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative position and hired three 
people, an Admin. Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin. 
Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation 
for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, 
we must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

 Thanks Dan !

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Woodsterman Turns Three Today !

Here is a repeat of my very first post.

Thank You All

Over 180,000 hits

Over 250,000 page views

Most of all I want to thank you all for 
allowing a grown man to be a kid again.

Monday, May 21, 2012


A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"  
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points 
toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled 
in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I 
lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've 
got enough points for me to hire  you right now. Our 
normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start 
tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 
10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 
8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here 
until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the 
first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and 
scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

Thanks David!

Friday, May 18, 2012

WalMartians Visit Us Again V

 Clean up in the shoe aisle -- STAT!!!
 And the winner of the mullet contest is...
 You might want to stay away from the Pepsi ma'am, I hear it is bad for your tooth.
I tot I taw a putty tat!! I did, I did.

It's Mrs. Woodsterman and my Anniversary today. We're going to Walmart to celebrate. 

Thanks Stopsign (LINK)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

WalMartians Visit Us Again IV

 To hell with getting dressed today, I'm just going to throw on a dew rag and call it good.
 Retired plumber?
 Is that a, a, Oh, My, Gawd.

You'd a never guessed there was room in there for a cell phone.

Thanks Stopsign (LINK)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Simple Truths


Partners help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.


When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".

But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".

Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated.


1.   Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2.   Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.

3.   If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4.   Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5.   Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

THERE YOU HAVE IT … and remember, life is good!

Thanks David

Monday, May 14, 2012

Kneeling High Jump ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

This is Incredible!!!

Are you aware that a new world record has been set for the HIGH JUMP
from a KNEELING position ?

The record (0.757 meters) - remember this is from a KNEELING position
was set recently on a beach near Montpellier in Southern France

The photograph below was taken a split second before the jump - but it gives
you an idea as to how it was achieved.......

I've always enjoyed sports trivia...

Other Rule 5 ers:

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Landmark ~OR~ Happy Mothers Day Woodsterman Style

Just in case you had not seen this new "mother" of a landmark......

Proposed new Charlotte stadium with retractable roof.
Just in time for the Democratic National Convention and 
Obama's speech.



Thanks Dan and David !

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Class Project

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents. 

They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants. 

The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze. 

The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.  It was great fun! 

They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home. 

The cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead. 

The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time.  (See below)

Thanks Dan

Monday, May 7, 2012

Carnation Milk Contest

 65 Years Ago..   This is PRICELESS .............

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and 
around her family dairy farms since she was old 
enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little 

 When canned Carnation Milk became available in 
grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement 
offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning With 
'Carnation Milk is best of all.'

She thought to herself, I know everything there is to 
know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black 
car pulled up in front of her house.

A large man got out, knocked on her door and said, 
"Ma'am,.....The president of Carnation milk absolutely 
LOVED your entry.....So much, in fact, that we are here 
to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to 
use it for our advertisements!"

He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his 
office wall.  
 (Here it is:) 
 I'm told this is a true story

Thanks Dan

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Can You ID This Strange Old Tool ?

Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit,
for administrating Tobacco Smoke Enemas
(1750's – 1810's)

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum.

The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “Blow smoke up one’s ass.”

This has been reintroduced in Washington D.C., by the Obama Administration.

It will be part of the New Health Care Program.
Thank You Dan From the Bottom of My Bottom !

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Two Prostitutes ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Two prostitutes were riding around town with 
a sign on top of their car which said:
Two Prostitutes $50.00

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and 
told them they'd either have to remove the sign 
or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign 
saying 'JESUS SAVES'

One of the girls asked the officer, 'How come 
you don't stop them?'

'Well, that's a little different,' the officer smiled, 
'Their sign pertains to religion.'

The following day the same police officer noticed 
the same two hookers driving around with a new 
sign on their car.

He figured he had an easy arrest until he 
read their new sign...

Two Fallen Angels

Seeking Peter -- $50

Thanks David !