Thursday, August 31, 2017

Extreme Redneck

You're An Extreme Redneck When...


1) You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws

4) You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6) Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9) Your junior prom offered day care.

10) You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

11) You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels.

12) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 

17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk

*** And in closing....

Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local horse trailer manufacturing plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off  huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even!"

 You come back again, hear.

Thanks Hal

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Monday, August 28, 2017

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style ~ 116 ~

Love Is In The Air In The Middle East . . .

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Irish Talking Clock

After closing time at the bar, Paddy was proudly showing off his
new Apartment to a couple of his friends.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big
brass gong and a mallet.

'What's that big brass gong?' one of his friends asked..

'It's not a gong. It's an Irish talking clock,' the drunk replied.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.

'YUP, it is' replied the drunk.

'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.

'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up
the mallet, gave the gong an
 Ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,

"You ASSHOLE! It's 3:15 in the MORNING"

Friday, August 25, 2017

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The "UN"

Thanks Facebook Guys and Gals

Tuesday, August 22, 2017