Thursday, January 30, 2014

Prius Driving B _ _ _ _ !

Enjoy this woman freaking out ... I did.
Whenever we can piss off a liberal I 
consider it a win for our side.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

FLASH ... Sick Woodsterman Posts Anyway

 Very Clever ...
 Thanks Dick !
Doesn't that about sum it up.

I did not watch the SOTU because I've heard
enough lies to last a lifetime.

I apologize for my apparent MIA status, but I've been
ill and looking at this computer absolutely makes me
feel even worse. Just a quick one this time and hopefully
I'll be on my feet later. It's just a man cold, but you men
know what I'm talking about. Ladies, please humor me
and the Woodsterman will adore you till his dying day.
That could be shortly the way I feel.  

Saturday, January 25, 2014

A Tip From An Old Man ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

A tip from an old man...
 When you see a woman.... And want her badly....
Please consider the following....

 No matter how beautiful she is.....
 No matter how sexy she is....
 No matter how seductive she is...
 No matter how huge her breasts are...
I've completely forgotten where I was going with this...

Thanks Dan!

Other Tips From Other Rule 5 ers:

Friday, January 24, 2014

65 Years Ago

This is PRICELESS ...

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her 

family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with 
hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery 

stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering 
$5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with'Carnation 

Milk is best of all.'

She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know 

about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, 
and several weeks later a black car pulled up in front of her house.

A large man got out, knocked on her door, and said, "Ma'am, 

the president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry. 
So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000, even 
though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!"

He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.

Here it is:

They tell me True story!

Thanks Dan!

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Thursday Odds and Ends

 I just had to add a couple of words to this photo.

Stolen from my friends at FaceBook.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the 
English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either 
die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace 
your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices 
I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many 
obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might 
send a reader to the dictionary." - 
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; 
I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter 
saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked 
by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my 
new play; bring a friend... if you have one." 
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... 
if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost 
like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships 
his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope 
it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of 
dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine 
to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always 
yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it 
did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope 
without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away 
and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; 
others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses 
lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination." 
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for 
music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. 
But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Thanks David !

Monday, January 20, 2014

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Monday, January 13, 2014

Sled Ride in the Alps

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Gauge This ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

FOR ALL of YOU TOOL NUTS ... here's a great present

New gauge from Lowe's Tool Dept.

It takes a while to learn all the settings but be patient & you'll eventually figure it out ---

You'll know for sure with this gauge, no more guessing!

Lowe's ... A man's toy store

 It's just so much fun to use. Oh, she's a 10.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Whoa ~ More Leftovers From Wednesday on Friday

 Carl should be saying he's from the GOP.

 My favorite above, but no chance about listening.
Happy to have stolen these from my friends at Facebook.