Friday, June 29, 2012

NewsBusted 6/29/12 ~

We have another show this weekend, so I'll
probably be a bit scarce around these parts 
until next week.

Thursday, June 28, 2012


I told her she had three beautiful children. 
She didn't have to get offended. 
It was an honest mistake ...
Thanks David !

Monday, June 25, 2012

Great Photos From Mars

Beautiful and incredible images from the latest batch
of photographs sent back from the Mars Lander.

Thanks Dan !

Sunday, June 24, 2012


This is tough to watch. It just shows the dangers of attending these events. 

Air Show Disaster - Amazing photo shows 
great detail. The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft.
It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for 
the air show and slams into four buildings.
One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.

Thanks Dan !

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The T-Shirt ~ OR ~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Who said the T-shirt couldn't be sexy.

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded

up with rolls of sod.

"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blonde #1.

"Do what?" asked Blonde #2.

"Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Thursday, June 21, 2012

More Signs of the Times

Thanks David !

We have our first show this weekend, so I'm not sure I'll be
around to see all of you much. I'll do my best, but this is the
most hectic time for us. American capitalism at work!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Finally !

You get what you pay for !
Thanks Dan

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to 
the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, 
mount your asses and camels, and I will lead 
you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) 
Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your 
asses, and light up a Camel, 
this is the Promised Land."

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed 
your asses, raised the price of Camels, and 
mortgaged the Promised Land!  
I was so depressed last night thinking about 
health care plans, the economy, the wars, 
lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement 
funds, etc. I called a suicide hotline.  
I had to press 1 for English. I was connected 
to a call center in Pakistan.  
I told them I was suicidal.  
They got excited and asked if 
I could drive a truck...
Folks, we're screwed...  

Monday, June 11, 2012

Who Me Politically Incorrect

Because there are no mosques in Venice , the Italian 
Government has allowed Muslims to pray in the streets.
So far 543 have drowned.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Where To Put Number 44

Where oh where to put Obama #44

George Washington, our nation's first president  
and leader of the American  Revolution!
Abe Lincoln,  honorable leader who pulled 
our nation through its darkest  time!
Alexander Hamilton,  founding father, first Secretary of the 
Treasury and  leader of the constitutional  convention!
Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory " 
fought the British in New Orleans! 
Ulysses  Grant, Union army general, 
led the North through the Civil  War!
Ben  Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist 
and leading  author of the Constitution.
Finally, we have  someone to put on the food  stamp!!!
Obama's policies  have put more people on welfare than any 
president before  him, so this placement is most  appropriate. 
Unlike the Nobel  Peace Prize, for which he did nothing,
 this is an "honor"  he richly  deserves.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Blonde Pilot ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane 
with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, 
calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart 
attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. 
Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. 
I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. 
I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. 'Now, 
just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give 
me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I am a Democrat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio....

"Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . .."

Thanks David !

Other Rule 5 ers:

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Seniors and Computers

As we Silver SURFERS know, sometimes we have 
trouble with our computers. I  had a problem yesterday, 
so I called Eric, the 11 year old from next door, whose 
bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to 
come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what 
was wrong ? 
He  replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I  didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error ? What's that? 
In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned ...'Haven't  you ever heard of 
an ID ten T error before ?

'No,'  I replied.
'Write  it down,'he said,'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote  down:


I used to like Eric,the little shithead!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Land Cruiser VS. Well

 You'd  think that they'd at least put up a flag to let people  know there's
a 100m hole there. This happened in Saudi a few days ago.
In areas  where there is fresh water under ground the locals dig  wells
and support the sides with concrete and stones to keep the sand from
falling back in to the well. Some of these are up to 100 meters  deep.
This  particular one was 60 meters deep and 4 meters wide, located
outside the small town of Riyadh in the center of Saudi.

The  guys went out in the desert for a bit of 4X4 fun on a  Thursday when one of them
drove in  to the well and dropped 60 meters to the bottom with his V8  Cruiser.

Rescue  workers retrieved the car. The driver had a
mild concussion from hitting his head against the wind  screen.
Hard to believe he is  alive.

This is why Allah gave them camels.