Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to
the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied.... 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied.... 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about
being 104?' the reporter asked...
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your
own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees,
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees,
fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded,
and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a
fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down,
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down,
and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same
noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my
These days about half the stuff in my
shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the
people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now, I think you're supposed to share this
Now, I think you're supposed to share this
with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others.
Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends
Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends
if you can remember who they are!
Thanks Dan
I'm getting there Odie. Slowly but surely. Oh well, I don't like the alternative so bring it on.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chuckles and have a fabulous day. ☺
Sandee Who?
ReplyDeleteAnd those alternative realities can be really great.
ReplyDeleteEdutcher, they are.
ReplyDeleteAin't it the fricking truth about that driver license! But Odie, even straight roads seem crooked these days, at least I think so! However, I'm still able to find the two prime number that have a product of 3477 and a difference of 4! That said, I can't remember my cell phone number! And buddy that's the truth!
ReplyDeleteRon, and why should you. Do you ever call it?
ReplyDelete