Monday, July 13, 2015

Breaking News - Raleigh, NC


Jeff Gordon, Professional Stock Car racer​ announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew.  This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's plea to employ Black Harlem youngsters.  The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed Black youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 9 seconds with thousands of dollars’ worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as many races are won or lost in the pits.

However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.  At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced Black crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 9 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt, Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff's wife in the shower.

Thanks Hal
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14 comments:

  1. SandeeJuly 13, 2015 at 6:14 AM

    Now that's talent. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ron RussellJuly 13, 2015 at 6:25 AM

    Damn, its a proven fact that blacks are good with their hands> After all they are masters of the five-finger discount. Many stores here in the deep south are having the police finger print and mug-shot them before entering the store---just to save time later. And by the way, it was Malt Liquor not Bud!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 13, 2015 at 6:47 AM

    Oh, that is hilarious. Good one, Odie! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. LLJuly 13, 2015 at 7:34 AM

    Yes, inner city youths are good at some things.

    ReplyDelete
  5. edutcherJuly 13, 2015 at 12:30 PM

    Nasty.

    ReplyDelete
  6. NateJuly 13, 2015 at 5:26 PM

    How'd they get it off the concrete blocks?

    ReplyDelete
  7. FreddJuly 14, 2015 at 12:34 AM

    Question: Around Christmas, you are walking down a street in Harlem, NY and come across a group of four black Harlem youths busy prying the hubcaps off a Cadillac Escalade, while a fifth black Harlem youth is on the sidewalk watching for the pigs. What are you seeing?

    Answer: A Kwanzaa nativity scene.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:15 AM

    Sandee, yes indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:16 AM

    Ron, Malt Liquor, good point.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:17 AM

    gruntofmontecristo, glad you enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:19 AM

    LL, quick at cleaning out a CVS too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:20 AM

    edutcher, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:20 AM

    Nate, good question.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Woodsterman (Odie)July 14, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    Fredd, LOL ... but I didn't think Cadillac Escalades had hub caps.

    ReplyDelete

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