Sunday, October 27, 2013

I Just Can't Seem To Get A Break


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law 
a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift 
I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

****************************

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A 
Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…


Thank Dan !

28 comments:

Mr. AOW said...

I tell that first one a lot, but not always about my MIL.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mr. watch out that can be dangerous.

Opus #6 said...

Did you hear the one about the broken hearted tractor salesman?





He got a John Deere letter.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha. I like then both.

Have a fantastic Silly Sunday. :)

Ron Russell said...

Those are great buddy. Reminds me of the time shortly after I got married and was planning a trip to Acapulco with the guys from the office. My wife asked could she go, I replied, "honey that would be like taking a ham sandwich to a smorgasbord"! That's when I got kicked out of the house.

Abelle | The Wows! And Oops! Of Life said...

I got to watch out for those. Someday, I'll be a mother-in-law to. Haha! ;o)

The Conservative Lady said...

I can always count on you for a smile, Odie. Thanks. Have a nice Sunday.

stevebethere said...

LOL thanks for the laugh :-)

Have a tanfastic Sunday

Timothy Hecht said...

So close and yet, not really.

edutcher said...

Women are sooooo touchy.

Proof said...

I had a friend in college who was into street performance. He would snatch auto parts out of the air, anything you could throw at him: spark plugs, fenders, transaxles, even an engine block, and he would deftly snatch it out of the air an lay it gently at his feet.

One day, a kid threw a disc pad at him, hit him in the head and knocked him out cold. When he came to, they asked him what happened?

"Sorry, man! I can't catch a brake!"

Lucky Lady said...

o.k. those were very funny lol

Marine4Ever said...

Well, Odie... it's true. The votes have been tallied -- I liked yesterday's post A WHOLE LOT MORE than today's.

(Nothing wrong with today's material -- there was just SOMETHING about yesterday's that really made me take notice.)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, No I didn't. Oh Deere.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, you show good sense.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, that sounds painful.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Abelle, Oh no, I hope I didn't ruin it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Lady, that's my job.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Steve, thanks, you too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Timothy, closer?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, you've noticed too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Oh Proof, take a break dude.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Lucky Lady, Glad you enjoyed. Welcome to Woodsterman.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Marine, You show Manly sense.

Scott Way said...

All I want to know is...Who did you call???

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, A young lady that helped.

Race Bannon said...

At least you didn't poll the audience...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Race, now that gives me an idea.