The Reasons for My Sensitivity Training

This is politically incorrect!!

* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an 

affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to 

come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, 

and we're stoning her in the morning!

* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis 

enlargers, so I did. She's 21, and her name's Kathy.

* Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals 

were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, 

just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely 

spoiled our 10th anniversary.

* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a 

girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 

3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're 

banned from teaching altogether."

* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife 

is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". 

The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says 

"The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you 

die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different 

creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. 

I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said 

to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill 

to get all of her clothes back.

*  The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if 

we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said 

we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Thanks David !

Jodi is late again ... I might have to fire that girl.