Saturday, January 4, 2014

Three Dogs ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they
struck
up a conversation.

The Black Labrador turned to the Yellow Labrador and said,
"So why are you here?"

The Yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything ... the
sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my
owner's bed."

The Black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do
?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the Yellow Lab.
"They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked,
"Why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers
and trees, I dig just for the hell of it.
When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last
night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?

"I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump
the
cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything
I see. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and she was
bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on
her back and started humping away."

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,
"So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?" The Great Dane said,
"Nope, I'm here to get my nails clipped!




 Thanks Dan!
Other Soaped Up Rule 5 ers:
 

18 comments:

  1. I did NOT see that one coming Odie! Nuts!

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  2. Bwahahahahaahahah. I'm here to get my nails clipped. Of course you are.

    Have a fabulous weekend Odie. ☺

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  3. She doesn't like getting scratched? What a prude!

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  4. Sandee, got mine clipped too just in case.

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  5. Wonder what Phil Robertson would say about that?????? Understand the meaning of what I comprehend??

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  6. Wholesome family entertainment, that's what I come here for

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  7. Alas, poor Sherlock, he had to get fixed because not doing it would have been fatal.

    Of course, he still pees and jumps on everything.

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  8. A dog has got to do what a dogs got to do.

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  9. Ron, not sure. Is that a new Redneck tongue I'm not familiar with?

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  10. RR, you must have slipped in here on one of my off days.

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  11. Admiral, finally someone understands.

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Put it here ... I can't wait to read it.