I'm Ready For Funderwhoopee Friday ~ PM

 

Here are some classic jokes from Red Skelton with a nod to John Wayne

1. Red Skelton: "John Wayne once told me, 'Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.' I told him, 'John, I get scared just looking at a saddle!

2. Red Skelton: "I asked John Wayne how he got to be so tough. He said, 'Well, Red, I eat a lot of steak and never back down from a fight.' I told him, 'I eat a lot of steak too, but the only thing I fight is indigestion!'"

3. Red Skelton: "John Wayne walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, 'What's your poison?' John said, 'Whiskey.' I walked in right after him, and the bartender asked me the same thing. I said, 'Pepto-Bismol!'"

4. Red Skelton: "John Wayne always had that famous swagger. I asked him how he did it. He said, 'Red, it's simple, you just walk like you're carrying a pair of six-shooters.' I tried it, and now I just walk like I'm carrying a pair of groceries!"

5. Red Skelton: "I told John Wayne that I was thinking about becoming a cowboy. He looked me up and down and said, 'Red, you’re more of a cow than a boy!'"

6. Red Skelton: "John Wayne said he could tame any wild horse. I said, 'That's impressive, Duke. The wildest thing I've tamed is my hair in the morning!'"