My Last Trip To Costco

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog 

chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 

191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me 

asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told 

her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet 

again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in 

the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I 

awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of 

most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way 

that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets 

and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food 

is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try 

it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line 

was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the 

dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a 

Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a 

heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you 

ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think 

of crazy things to say.

Thank You Mr. Trailbee.

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