60 Plus

As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't 

Seem To Matter As Much As They used To!

This chick looked at my beer belly last night and 

sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or XXXX?"

I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I was talking  to a girl in the bar last night.  She said, 

"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got 

your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to 

your friends over there instead of you."

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I was telling a  girl in the pub about my ability to guess 

what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she  said, "Go on then...try." 
After about  thirty seconds of fondling she

 began to lose patience and said, 

"Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I got caught  taking a piss in the local swimming pool  today.  
The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a  shit?

I went to the  pub last night and saw an obese chick 

dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."

She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?" 
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Honestly, when you are over sixty, who really gives a shit?

Thanks Dan !