Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
school diploma to fix one:
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the
form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers.
school diploma to fix one:
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the
form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last:
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
These are awesome. Now these folks have a sense of humor and then some.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Odie. :)
This stuff you can't make up!
ReplyDeleteThere's one like that for computers, but that's a goodie.
ReplyDeleteSandee, They are great ... glad you like.
ReplyDeleteJoeh, it's great we don't have to.
ReplyDeleteEdutcher, what port do you use for the midgets?
ReplyDeleteA sense of humor makes the work day go by faster. Now it's time for OFF mode.
ReplyDeleteCube, I think I remember that fact.
ReplyDeleteThose are all great----like that Mouse in cockpit best. Love military humor.
ReplyDeleteRon, Got Cat?
ReplyDelete