Two Bears

Two bears were sitting at the side of the river near Ottawa .

The smaller bear turned to the bigger one and said, 

'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We're the same age; we were the same size as cubs. 

I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Bear, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Bear.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down near the parking lot by the Parliament Buildings.'
'Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I hide under one of their Lexus cars and wait for 

one to unlock the car door.
Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out 

of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Bear, 'I think I see your problem. 

You're not getting any real nourishment. 

See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, 

there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.'