Thursday, May 28, 2015

Pondering . . . .



I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. 
I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels 
and let the problem work itself out.
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I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People 

move out of the way much faster now.
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her 

hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
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Gone are the days when girls used to cook like 

their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when 

you really like someone? That's common sense 
leaving your body.
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I don't like making plans for the day because then 

the word "premeditated" get's thrown around 
in the courtroom.
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I didn't make it to the gym today. 

That makes five years in a row
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I decided to change calling the bathroom the John 

and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying 
I went to the Jim this morning
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower 

curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?

18 comments:

LL said...

You know that tingly little feeling you get when
you really like someone? That's common sense
leaving your body.


Amen, Odie.

Race Bannon said...

Depends...

Always On Watch said...

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People
move out of the way much faster now.


The solution to traffic jams in Northern Virginia!

Sandee said...

I love them all Odie. Some more than others like that first one.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

trailbee said...

Chris Matthews is insane! Other than that, It's good to have a normal website like this. Thank you, Odie. :)

Ron Russell said...

Just don't toot that horn close to a police car!

edutcher said...

What makes you think stupid people read warning labels?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, you too?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Race, oh I'm sorry. I guess that happens when you get older.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW, that works in a lot of places.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, that first one is my favorite too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trailbee, "normal" ... where did I go wrong?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, never.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, good point, but not useful to this post.

Proof said...

The Marines say to have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Implementation is going to max out my credit cards!

Brighid said...

It's comforting to know I have common sense to lose it...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, That sounds bad Dude.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brighid, sounds tingly.