I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
The baby gives myriad rewards. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteedutcher, can't or won't argue with that.
DeleteI fully agree with that case.
ReplyDeleteHeltau
Heltau, me too.
DeleteGood one.
ReplyDeleteAnon, thanks!
DeleteThat is just great! Have a safe/enjoyable weekedn Odie!
ReplyDeleteJeffery, You Too ... big community barbecue today.
DeleteI think passing a kidney stone may be more painful than either. Recovering from kidney stone surgery, the kind where they go in, up your entire ureter from the end of mr happy, with a bore scope kind of device with a laser and a collection basket to get the big stones out of your kidneys. You’re under anesthesia for this, but to help things drain properly they also put in a stent, which is a large wire spring about 10” long, one end on your prostate and the other on your kidney. The real pain comes during recovery, where every time you have to pee it feels like getting hit in the back with a bat. And you have to pee about every 3 minutes. Recovery takes a week to 10 days . You will get almost no sleep. You will take strong pain killers and then see they don’t work much at all. Lying down hurts. Standing up hurts worse. And makes you have to pee again, here comes Joe Dimaggio with the bat! After a couple days you stop peeing mostly blood, and in a week the stent is pulled out , after they once again insert their tools up your penis. Then you see the big long wire with loops on both ends come out; it’s only 9” long though when pulling it out it seemed to be miles long. And then the pain is gone, you pee clean, go home and sleep for 16 hours. I think 7-10 days of this is far worse than giving birth, and each pang is about 75% as painful as a serious kick in the nutz. Thing is, you experience that pain several hundred times during recovery. So I say this is worse.
ReplyDeleteDrew
Drew, I agree, but I didn't really need to read that ... YUK!
Delete