Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Simple Truths
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
THERE YOU HAVE IT … and remember, life is good!
Thanks David
28 comments:
Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.
** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.
*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.
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Pretty much all the life rules that we need to know!
ReplyDeleteAlcohol might not solve your problems, but it makes you not worry so much about them for awhile! ;)
ReplyDeleteThe first two are great! HA!
AOW, live them, know them ...
ReplyDeleteBrooke, milk sours with age and alcohol doesn't.
ReplyDeleteToo bad they don't have an open season on A$$HOLES. Just one day a year would be great!
ReplyDeleteIf it wasn't for alcohol, a lot of people wouldn't know a thing about Truth #1 & #2...
ReplyDeleteRon, they do in States like Wyoming, Montana, and North Dakota. They just don't advertize it. They'd run out of tags.
ReplyDeleteP, I know, and milk wouldn't get it done.
ReplyDeleteOdie, you knew about us up ND? Don't tell too many.
ReplyDeleteThose are important rules and truths to remember. Great stuff, Odie!
ReplyDeleteThe problem with Simple Truth #2 is that nobody thinks what the man has to do to make the woman pregnant is hard work.
ReplyDeleteErgo, nobody don't congratulates you for having fun
Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.
ReplyDeleteI better get started. There's a lot of people in the Obama Administration.
Randy, your secret is safe.
ReplyDeleteTeresa, what else did you expect to find here? Thank you young lady.
ReplyDeleteEdtucher, truth be known I only post this stuff and don' t write it.
ReplyDeleteLady, pace yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know, but there are all kinds of truth out there.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely rules to live by.
ReplyDeleteLife is self correcting, except when it comes to sex. Sooner or later, sex ALWAYS complicates things, both good and bad, but, mostly good.
ReplyDeleteedutcher, If I'm preforming a service here you need to know it was an accident.
ReplyDeleteDiogenes Sarcastica, Every day I'm proud to say.
ReplyDeleteUnknown, Prezackly!
ReplyDeleteLots of wisdom in these posts.
ReplyDeleteHah!
ReplyDeleteGood one!
My favorite is "forgive your enemy but remember the asshole's name."
ReplyDeleteAdmiral, that was my intention.
ReplyDeleteEdutcher, that's the idea.
ReplyDeleteMr. Those are words to live by.
ReplyDelete