Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his
sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too
much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go
back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm
Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm
near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with
feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..
rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh?
rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh?
How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange
'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange
feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ed.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.
He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming..
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the
back of his head, and heard.....
"Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"
"Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"
Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!
Maybe he had read o's fav book "everybody poops" before bed time, heh.
ReplyDeleteWas his last name Schultz?
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO at Randy! :)
ReplyDeleteBunni, I missed that one.
ReplyDeleteRandy, I'll ask him.
ReplyDeleteBrooke, don't encourage him.
ReplyDeleteI dreamed that I ate a 500 lbs marshmallow last night and when I woke up, my pillow was missing...
ReplyDeleteLL, take two eggs and see me in the morning.
ReplyDeleteSadly I know about those weird dreams and waking to reality!
ReplyDeleteRon, don't lay any eggs or eat marshmallows and you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteoish!!!Have a great Monday my friend.:)
ReplyDeleteRandy made me giggle too...Oh sh*t now I forgot what I was going to say.
ReplyDeleteHere's one that you should be able to have some fun with.
ReplyDeletehttp://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q77bS67U8DU/TtPP0TlewVI/AAAAAAAAInA/H4i2-fOSLRM/s640/1mime-attachment.jpg
WHT, Mondays are great when you're retired.
ReplyDeleteStopsign, you're not that old are you?
ReplyDeleteMal, fun indeed. She's a fine specimen!
ReplyDeleteLMAO! Dreaming meets reality.
ReplyDeleteTeresa, you have to watch out for those dreams.
ReplyDelete