Thursday, November 7, 2013

I Just Can't Seem To Get A Break - 4


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our 
upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something 
shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started…...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to 
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter 
asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet 
at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I 
would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough 
for me’ and she processed
my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly 
told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might 
have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…


My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to
pay me a compliment.’
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started….....

Thanks Dan !

14 comments:

Randy-g said...

Perfect vision is good!Give Odie a break!

USA_Admiral said...

Good eyesight is a blessing now days.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, I needs a break. I gives compumints and I still git grief.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, great another guy what understands.

Sandee said...

Yes, I can see how the fight started. I do think you are far smarter than these guys.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

Scott Way said...

I guess that I had the beer goggles on all those years but this is how I saw my wife...minus a cup size or so...https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591669574233263&set=a.116696085063950.15774.100001706769916&type=1&relevant_count=1

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, I'm not.

edutcher said...

Perhaps you and Mrs Odie should try another language.

I hear cunieform takes years to learn.

LL said...

Perfect eyesight shouldn't be a cause a fight...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, where did you get the photo of Mrs. Woodsterman?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, we have, we both speak English.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, shouldn't be, but ......

Scott Way said...

I knew we had a lot in common Odie...errr,,,That didn't sound right...Not PC

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scotty, FPC