I met a fairy today. He said he would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever", I said.
"Sorry", said the fairy. "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine", I said, "Then I want to die as soon as Congress gets its head out of its ass."
"You crafty bastard", said the fairy.
I'm having my morning coffee with Ted Cruz... - *you may join us.*
1 hour ago