Saturday, November 26, 2011

I Still Love Blondes OR Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office 
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 
'Impossible!' says the doctor... 'Show me.'  The redhead 
took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, 
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She 
pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her 
ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her 
scream.  The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, 
are you?  'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'  
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING 
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to 
see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing 
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, 
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'  'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 
'IT'S A SCARF!'
 BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. 
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'  
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'  
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'  
The Russian and the American looked at each other and 
shook their heads.. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! 
You'll burn up!' said the Russian.  To which the Blonde replied, 
'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... 
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed 
on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' 
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired 
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. 
The blonde responded by saying that one was named 
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 
'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'  
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 
'They're watch dogs'!

21 comments:

Randy-g said...

I love em...Blondes and the jokes!

Reaganite Republican said...

The infamous "Woodsterman Style" has as essential elements not just blondes... but blondes with monstrously massive mammos

Then you make fun of them and call them stupid lol

Brooke said...

I'm loving the vacuum joke! :)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, as Inno would ask, "there are jokes?"

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

RR, the woodsterman style is laughter and beauty ... and over the top sexy and did I mean blondes or boobs?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, that's great. Now please to explain to RR that beauty and laughter is OK.

Brooke said...

I mean, I'm more for this sort of beauty(don't worry, I'm not going to scald your eyes), even though these ladies are aesthetically pleasing at least, I suppose. At least they ain't Helen frickin' Thomas. ;)

And humor is ALWAYS a good thing!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, They are perfectly dreamy. One of my other blogs catered to your desires. In fact it kept Opie and Bunni coming back for more.

http://woodstermantoo.blogspot.com/

Check out "Chip and Duds in the sidebar"

Humor is what I'm about.

Opus #6 said...

Odie, you have an eye for blondes, that I can't deny. And the jokes are rockin'. Although the joke to end all blonde jokes. I don't believe it. I expect to read more blonde jokes here someday.

Brooke said...

GAH!!!

stopsign said...

Thanks for the laughs today Odie.

I liked "At the Doctors office" best. I bet that one is based on a true story :)

Scott said...

I want to know where I can join the venerated "Tribe of The White Feather". I am prepared for all tribal initiation rituals.

Amusing Bunni said...

Watch Dogs! Love it! You are so funny with those blond jokes, and you found some very lovely ladies!
Have a fun weekend, Odie.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, "watch" for them.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, you only saw one of probably 50.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Stopsign, take care of those fingers.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scott, isn't she a babe. You and I have the same tastes. She is my favorite also.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Bunni, I have to keep within the style of a rule 5 ... with a teenie wienie twist.

Reaganite Republican said...

Blondes linked-

KNOW YOUR ENEMY! 'Miss North Korea 2011' Sora Chong

Mr. AOW said...

I never get tied of seeing everything a blonde has to offer but now I have also heard. It all!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mr., It just wouldn't be right to tire.