Woodsterman

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Speeding Ticket ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/breathalyzerjoke.html

Other Breathalyzer Rule 5 ers:

The Other McCain
Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook

RULE 5 SITES
TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo
Angrymikes hood
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition
The Right Way

Friday, September 9, 2016

NO Speak English

A German woman married an

American gentleman born in

Virginia and they lived happily

ever after in his home town.

The poor lady was not very proficient

in English, but did manage

To communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose

Whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to buy

Chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request,

So, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt

To show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave

Her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't

Know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned

Her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.

The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.

Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her

Husband to the store...

(Please scroll down.)

What were you Thinking?

Her husband speaks English....hellooo!

I worry about you Sometimes!

Thanks Dan

Answer from yesterday ...

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Sillursday

Spot the cat ... Answer Tomorrow

Thanks Facebook Friends

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Wednesday Is For Libs And Those Who Think Like Them

Thanks Facebook Buddies

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

You Might Be A Redneck If . . . .

Monday, September 5, 2016

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style LXIII

GIFerific:

**********

Sunday, September 4, 2016

The Campaign Trail

Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail

As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.

She says to Donald, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie.” I will definitely win the election.

The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?" Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket".
Who are you going to vote for now???