Ok to Laugh, it's called Political Humor ...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY all you Mothers out there.

Thanks Hal

Shoeshine ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

A Texan sat on the barber's chair 

"I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." 

The barber (using a straight razor by the way) 

began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, 

firmest, most beautiful real breasts that he had 

ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

    The Texan said, "Young lady, you and I should 

go and spend some time in a hotel room."
     She replied, "I'm married and my 

husband wouldn't like  that."

     The Texan said, "Tell him you're working 

overtime and I'll pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him; you're​ ​ ​CLOSER​ ​​​”

Thanks Brighid (LINK)

Other Shoe Shining Rule 5 ers:

 

Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

teresamerica

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition

Average Bubba     

Miracles . . . .

 Somewhere along the border in El Paso an

illegal, leaving the welfare office, is saved.

I never did see that beach.

Thanks Hal for the GIF and Kermit

From Down Under

What the Sydney Fire Commander Said! Priceless!
 

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
Not fair to make judgement of this, until you 

see what the Fire Commander says!!!!

In Macquarie Fields, Australia, a 4-flat housing 

trust property was destroyed by a fire.

A Maori family of 9, all welfare recipients and gang 

members, lived on the right first floor flat. They died.

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally 

in the country from Pakistan, lived on the right 

ground floor flat. They, too, all perished.

Five Aboriginals, all ex-cons lived on 

the left ground floor. They, too, died.

A white couple lived on the left first floor flat.
The couple survived the fire.

Various multicultural agencies were furious!! 
They flew into Sydney and met with the fire commander.    

On camera, they loudly demanded to know why 21 Maoris, 

Muslims and Aboriginals all died in the 

fire and why only the white couple lived?
 

The Fire Commander said, "They were at work."

Thanks Hal

Stuff For A Wednesday . . .

PARKING TICKET . . . .

Mrs. Woodsterman and I went into town and visited a shop. 

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a 

parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 

"Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen 

a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and 

started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the 

second ticket and put it on the windshield with 

the first. Then he started writing more tickets.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused 

him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, 

sneered at us and walked away. Just then our 

bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.

We always look for cars with Obama stickers. 

We try to have a little fun each day now that 

we're retired. It's so important at our age!!

Thanks Dan

Awww Monday ~ Woodsterman Style II

Photography is patience and timing.

Thanks Hal

 

Craig's List Ad . . . .

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives.  You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.  I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber
Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it Was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of What you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That Made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution
is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,
Alex

Soap ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style

Two guys are off to the showers late one night

 after working out. They undress and step into the  

showers before they realize there is no soap.

Odie says he has soap in his locker and goes to get it, 
not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, 
one in each hand , and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three middle 
aged ladies heading his way. Having no place to hide, 
he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The ladies stop and comment on how life-like Odie looks. 
The first lady suddenly reaches out 
and pulls on his manhood.

Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look" says the 
first lady, "it's a soap dispenser". To test her theory 
the second lady also pulls on his manhood. Sure 
enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third lady decides to have a go. She pulls once, 
then twice and three times but nothing happens. 
So she gives several more tugs, then yells...

"Oh My God, HAND LOTION TOO!

Other Soapy Rule 5 ers:

 

Proof Positive

Randy's Roundtable

Reaganite Republican

teresamerica

Guns and Bikinis

Maggie's Notebook 

TOTUS

In a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Adrienne's Corner
The Feral Irishman
Knuckledraggin My Life Away
Diogenes' Middle Finger
Ninety Miles From Tyranny
Doubletroubletwo  
Angrymikes hood 
MissK's World...
American Power
GOODSTUFF'S CYBER WORLD
A Nod To The Gods   
Act Well Your Part
Subject to Change
Your Crazy Uncle Bubba
Political Clown Parade
The Last Tradition
Average Bubba 

 

Thanks Dan 

You can't put lipstick on a pig OR a Pants Suit on a Turd

And let's not forget, It's National Bring A 

Thug Home to Dinner Day.