Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Republican, Democrat, Or Southerner?


Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner? This little test will help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 chambered in .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

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Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber 1911 and what does .45 ACP mean?

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!

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Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

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Southerner’s Answer:

BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click…..

(Sounds of reloading)

BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Speer Gold Dots or Federal Premium hollow points?!”

Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”

Wife: “You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!”

23 comments:

  1. I'm a southerner. Who knew?

    I linked this post to Happy Tuesday.

    Have a fabulous day, Odie. 😎

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  2. Put me down for South of the Mason-Dixon line, though I won't waste ammo on a dead vermin unless his head rises and he exclaims I KEEEEL You.

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  3. Somehow throughout the trials of life after being born in a military family on an air base in California and then living in New York for a while I became a Southerner. One part I got wrong is that my 1911 is an Classic older Colt, not a Kimber.

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  4. Kinda weird, me bein' in Wisconsin and all, but I am Damned sure a Southerner, based on the results of this analysis!

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  5. 8 weeks in Alabama made me a Southern boy.

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  6. Republican.

    He may have friends.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Recommend 8 round mags...one more bang before the click!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm a Southern Republican. Got 10 rds and one in the pipe on my 1911. 10 bangs, tactical reload, and look around in case he has friends! Stay well, y'all.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Adrienne, then that terrorist doesn't stand a chance.

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  10. Mikey, that and an M79 is what I used to carry on convoy. I could hit anything I aimed at ... within 10 feet ... LOL!

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  11. Stewart I guess my 4 months in Georgia did the same.

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  12. edutcher, I would probably say the same ... BANG!

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  13. GunnyFrank, Look for his friends and stay well yourself.

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  14. Late to the party Odie, but I am SOOOOO glad I refrained from taking a sip before finishing this! ROLF!

    ReplyDelete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.