Friday, August 2, 2019

An Arkansas Dog Story




A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester,
having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend - he
calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won’t believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will
teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!”


"That's amazing," his Dad says.  "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?”

"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says, "and I'll
get him in the course." So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs
out. The boy calls home.

"So, how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't
believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to
teach the animals how to read!”

"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to
buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a
problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can
neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to
lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him
think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up
with a plan for him.

So, she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!”

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked
back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually
does”.

"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so - is your Daddy still
messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying dog
before he talks to your Mother!”

"I sure did, Daddy!

"That's my boy!”

The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school, he
became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and
you already know what a liar his girlfriend turned out to be!


Thanks David

8 comments:

  1. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. Let me recover from laughing my ass off. That there was F-U-N-N-Y

    Have a great day. You got mine started off the right way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Curmudgeon, Good because that's my job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, it must be true because you told it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jerry Clower told that story 100 years ago...

    ReplyDelete
  5. edutcher, that's right plus don't forget you saw it on the internet. That makes it gospel.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jeff, you're a guest here, so be nice ... I'm old.

    ReplyDelete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.