Odds And Ends

IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD


1) You can't count your hair. 

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 

3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
(Put your tongue back in your mouth, sure you can 
still breathe, you fool.)


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Ten (10) Things I know about you. 

1) You are reading this.  

2) You are human. 

3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without
separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it. You are an idiot!  

6) You are laughing at yourself.  

7) You have a smile on your face and
you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5!!

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun-loving
person and everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to send this
to see who else falls for it.

You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be
alone in the idiot category.
"Do not regret growing older.
It is a privilege denied to many."

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If you're a senior you will understand this one.
If you deal with seniors, this should help you
understand them a little better,
and if you are not a senior yet,
some day you probably will be.

The 2.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant
where the  'seniors special' was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs. '
'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're
ordering a la carte,'  the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?'  
my wife asked incredulously.  
'Yes,' stated the waitress.  
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said. 

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.  
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. 
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake. 

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!  
We've been around the block more than once.

Thanks David