Hell Explained
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in
by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)
or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is
unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence
of a divine being which explains why, last night,
Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Thanks Hal
Amen Brother! Amen.
ReplyDeleteAn A+ is well deserved.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the meaning of what you comprehend.
ReplyDeleteAnd since it's Sunday:
ReplyDelete“The worst news coming out of heaven is better than the best news coming out of hell.”
Too cute!
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahaha. I linked you to Silly Sunday.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Odie. ☺
So anyway now I understand LOLOL
ReplyDeleteHave a helllesstastic day :-)
DS, Yes Sister!
ReplyDeleteLL, I did take a lot of thought.
ReplyDeleteRon, Please to explain then.
ReplyDeleteCurmudgeon, And may I add Washington to that?
ReplyDeleteAdrienne, yes indeed.
ReplyDeleteSandee, many thanks again.
ReplyDeleteSteve, then you're the lucky one. Is that a good kind of day?
ReplyDeleteI wish I had wrote that. I wish I had lived that too.
ReplyDeleteThe version I saw said he never got Ms Banyan to come across, ergo all Hell would break loose.
ReplyDeleteEither way, an oldie, but a goodie.
Like us all.
Timothy, Oh My God!
ReplyDeleteedutcher, I'm not proud. I'll even post stuff you've seen before.
ReplyDeleteAt least the kid knows his chemistry! (Probably in more ways than one.)
ReplyDeletemessymimi, Also Biology, Anatomy, and Physiology too.
ReplyDeleteScience! I love it.
ReplyDeletecube, not consensus.
ReplyDeleteNone of my professors had even a hint of a sense of humor. My chemistry prof would not only have flunked this guy, he would have had him flogged.
ReplyDeleteI went to the U. of Oregon. With a lot of transfer credits from Lane Community College. All staffed by commies. And Marxists. Commies, mostly.