Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Cinderella



Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she 
happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world 
go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for 
companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, 
appeared the fairy godmother.

Cinderella said,
"Fairy Godmother, what are you doing 
here after all these years"?

The fairy godmother replied,
"Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary 
life since I last saw you.
Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some 
thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

"The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.
I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I 
wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said,
"Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"

The fairy godmother replied,
"It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,
"I wish I were young and full of the beauty 
and youth I once had."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful 
young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside 
of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more:
"You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in 
the corner and says,
"I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat,
into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental 
a change in his biological make-up that, when he 
stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes 
of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said,
"Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life."

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity,
the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked 
into each others eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing 
at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed 
in her rocking chair, & held her close in his 
young muscular arms.

He leaned in close,
blowing her golden hair
with his warm breath
as he whispered...

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me!" 

Thanks Hal

14 comments:

Sandee said...

And so am I because the ending of this tale would have been far better.

Have a fabulous day Odie. ☺

Fredd said...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Odie.
Odie who?

Odie, who just can't resist publishing bone head jokes, yet never laughs at Fredd's most excellent material.

LL said...

Very good!!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, now how long have you been coming here?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Fredd, I'm laughing now, Oh Great One!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, and they're mild.

Ron Russell said...

LOL! Think I would rather have a broke dick, than be neutered! Oops, you know what I mean!

edutcher said...

Old gag, but someone neutered can still have sex, they just can't procreate.

Saw in a book that retired eunuchs of the Ottoman sultan's harem married and had quite happy sex lives.

Because they couldn't come, they lasted much longer, making their wives extremely happy.

hiswiserangel said...

Now considering eunuchs....

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, not at all. Let's see you explain your way out of this one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, you're just so full of useful knowledge today. I always thought if you removed the testicles the hormones and sex drive were gone.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

hiswiserangel, Edutcher must have started something. Good luck on your search. Just curious though, do you walk around posing the question to the guys you meet?

GruntOfMonteCristo said...

I don't know. Angel's pretty hot. If she asked me whether I was a Eunuch, I might lie!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Grunt, you old Eunuch you.