Saturday, June 13, 2015

New Hooker ~OR~ Rule 5 Woodsterman Style



A new hooker just finished her first trick. When she
came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all
gathered around to hear the details.

She said "well, he was a big muscular, and handsome US Army soldier."

"Well, what did he want to do?" they all asked.

She replied, "I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't
have that much. So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn't
have that much either. Finally I said, well, how much do you have?" "The
Soldier said that he only had 25 bucks."

The new hooker told him, "Well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand." He
agreed, and after getting the finances straight, she told the other hookers, "He
pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first, and
then the first hand above the second hand..." "Oh my God!" they all
exclaimed, "it must have been huge, then what did you do?" 
   
"I loaned him $75!" she said.

Thanks Hal





10 comments:

Ron Russell said...

Hell, I would have paid $5 to watch! Did I really say that!

Proof said...

With interest!

edutcher said...

You do know the good ones, sir.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, sure, I'm not afraid of an audience.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, she changed her mind and told me to keep it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, true story.

Brighid said...

Are you sure he wasn't a Navy man, just say'n...

puyalluppete said...

KENNETH...





Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth."

"And what is your question, Kenneth?"

"I have three questions:
First - Whatever happened in Benghazi ?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And,
Third - Whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"

Just then the bell rings for recess.

Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we?
Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

A different boy, little Johnny, puts his hand up. Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.

"Johnny."

"And what is your question, Johnny?"

"I have five questions:
First - Whatever happened in Benghazi ?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - Whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"
Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And, Fifth - Where's Kenneth?"

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brighid, I was never in the Navy. I'm an Army guy.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

puyalluppete, Good one! Thank you.