Wednesday, November 6, 2013

I Just Can't Seem To Get A Break - 3


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run,
my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer..
Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the 
tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of 
sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and 
then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, 
and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 
I said, “When you finish cutting the grass,
you might as well sweep the driveway..”

The doctors say I will walk again, 
but I will always have a limp.

 
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made 
my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked 
the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a 
torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so 
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and 
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped 
back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a 
different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out 
there is terrible.” My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, 
can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And that’s how the fight started…


Thanks Dan !

14 comments:

Randy-g said...

Sweep the damn driveway! I love it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, It's the least she can do.

LL said...

At least she cut the grass - different people - different methods. To avoid an argument, the husband should have opened a beer and turned on ESPN, and just stayed inside while she cut the grass.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, is that how you avoid arguments? You do know they can find you, don't you?

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. Love them all and yes that's how the fight started.

Have a terrific day. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, cutting any grass lately?

edutcher said...

Mrs Odie has the same problem, doesn't she?

doubletroubletwo said...

LMAO! Awesome as always Odie :-)

Ron Russell said...

Guy should have gone fishing, but then I know all about that as I was the "ice man" in the summer while in high school. While hubby away the wife will play!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, you betcha.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

2T2, thanks as always.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, Where did you put your ice?

Ron Russell said...

Most of it melted before I can out of the house. Summer was cotton-picking time in Mississippi and honestly, it was open season on those left to meet the Ice Man.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, cool.