Monday, May 21, 2012

COFFEE and TESTICLES

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"  
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
 
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points 
toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled 
in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I 
lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've 
got enough points for me to hire  you right now. Our 
normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start 
tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 
10:00 am every day."
 
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 
8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here 
until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the 
first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and 
scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

Thanks David!

18 comments:

Randy-g said...

No need to show up early! Outstanding start to the week Odie.

Ron Russell said...

You just answered a question I've had for many years. I had always wondered why those government forms had a funny odor when I picked them up at the VA and FHA. Thanks for the info!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, take the morning off.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I haven't received any of those forms. Thanks for the warning.

Brooke said...

LOL! That sounds about right!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, get a Gubment job.

Opus #6 said...

Excellent!

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahaha. Right on the money.

Have a terrific day Odie. :)

LL said...

Shaboom - (rim shot)

I think that they end the day doing what they did in the first two hours - during the last two.

And Obama said that there weren't any shovel-ready jobs.

Amusing Bunni said...

Ha ha, that's a good one!
Happy Monday funday, Odie.

Always On Watch said...

Employees' pay is docked if they come in early.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, Me or the post?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, nothing but the truth here, with a little stretch.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, bury the post office with those shovels.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Bunni... happy happy!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW, that's probably close to the truth.

Brooke said...

Odie: In reference to the pay docking for showing up early, I worked for a shitty local hospital for a little while, until I couldn't take it anymore.

The nurse managers expected you to show up early for report, which could take up to a half hour just for the nurse aides,but you weren't allowed to clock in until four minutes before your shift, then get right to work. (So you weren't wasting time getting vital report on your patients.)

When I refused to do that, I was called into the office. I told that hag of a manager, "Ma'am, I might be cheap but I'm not free. You can't make me do something that is clearly illegal; working off the clock."

She couldn't officially punish me, but all the shit rolled down my hill after that, shall we say.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brooke, don't you love it when stupid people act stupidly.