was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young
layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the
eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not
performing went into the soup pot and was
replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some
tiny bells and attached them to his
roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he
could tell from a distance, which rooster was
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an
efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this
morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing
pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters
coming, would run for cover.
To John's amazement, old Butch
had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up
on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County
Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch
the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the
"Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician
in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win
two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at
sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they
weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully this fall, the bells
are not always
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