Thursday, August 4, 2011

Retirement Bonus

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an 
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered 
for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a 
straight line between any Two points in his body. The officer got to 
choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted 
asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 
He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
 
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be 
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked 
out with $96,000. 

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a 
grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured 
replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by 
the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the 
nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old 
Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the 
 measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' 
which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip 
of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he 
suddenly exclaimed,''Where are your testicles?''
The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.

14 comments:

Randy-g said...

No wonder we are in broke...That guy got all that was left! Outstanding!

Scott said...

HAAA great---He should ask that of BO---answer...Moochelle whacked 'em off and left 'em in Chickago.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, you can tell he was never stationed in Washington DC.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scott, did he ever have any?

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

Hello Odie:

You are so old that your balls probably hang to the floor... You'll probably get a pretty good nest egg... :D

Mike

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Mike, they have wheels.

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

One should cry, but I am LMAO!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, this story has a very happy ending.

stopsign said...

Wonder if I would get a bigger check if they try to find mine?

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

I bet they do...(:

Mike

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Stopsign, not a clue, but it would be fun looking.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Strange, yup.

Teresa said...

Great one Odie! I don't think that BO ever had any testicles. He's a wuss.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Teresa, it's been reported that . . .