Sunday, May 29, 2011

A Man Walks Into A Bar ....

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, 
and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses 
there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches 
the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the 
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What 
are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender 
$10 which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds 
or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."


"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. 
You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."


"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. 
You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an
idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of 
tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, 
"Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. 
Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- 
and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
 
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull 
chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud 
growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then 
nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he 
staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds 
and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. 
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with 
the bad tooth?"

Moral: NEVER DRINK TEQUILA IF YOUR PIT BULL 
HAS A BAD TOOTH!

18 comments:

USA_Admiral said...

Interesting . . . You need to drink the tequila last!!!!

Supi said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Randy-g said...

Oh my...Poor dog...heh.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, if you did that you would miss enjoying the pit bull.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi, sounds like a good old boy party huh.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, I don't know the pit bull.

The Born Again American said...

I'm amazed that after that much to drink he was able to perform sexually at all... Pit bull, old woman, animate or inanimate...

stopsign said...

I've got to stop drinking coffee when I'm reading your blog.

That poor old woman

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Born Again, shoot, nothing to it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Stopsign, you have to start reading the warning labels.

Amusing Bunni said...

I had to read the rules of the bartender again, now I get it. That poor doggie!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Bunni, read em, learn em, live em !

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, glad you liked it.

WomanHonorThyself said...

oiy! Blessed holiday weekend my friend! (hugs)

The Conservative Lady said...

Have a great holiday...and stay out of the bars.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

WHT, back at you pretty lady.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Lady! That's where I'm writing this from at 6:00 in the morning.