Friday, April 23, 2021

Sleeps Naked *** Morning Post



 *** Kaycee WasserburgerBYC (BackYardChickens)

MY DADDY SLEEPS NAKED

"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Robbie.

"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"

Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Robbie what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Robbie and trouble were old friends but he always told the truth.

"You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreled shot gun and said to my Ma, "That fox is back again... I'm a gonna git him!''

"Stay back," Daddy whispered to all us kids!

"My Daddy was naked as a jaybird -- no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double-barrelled 12-gauge shotgun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy's crack!"

"Miss Russell, we all been pluckin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin!"


Thanks Sonia

9 comments:

  1. I almost wet myself laughing... :-D

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    Replies
    1. CGR710,, I guess I need to post my warning higher and add your comment to it.

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  2. I'm seventy and I've been hearing a version of that since I was a small one. Only in the version I heard, the dad was wearing a union suit with the rear flap down when the dog touched him with his cold nose. As it actually happened, the neighbor across the road called Dad at 2AM and wanted him to bring his shotgun over since there was an owl in the hen house. Dad shot the owl since they couldn't get him out and when they hung the owl on the windmill it had a 56" wing span. I still remember seeing that owl hanging there spread out and I doubt I'll ever see and owl again that big. I was 7 or 8 at the time.

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    Replies
    1. Paul V, So that story is real and you started it?

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    2. The part about the owl is real, but I always envisioned Dad peering into the chicken house and since Dad wore union suits, I could see ol' Shep touching Dad through the lowered flap.

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  3. Oldie.

    In the one I heard, Dad left the flap of his long drawers down.

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  4. Jerry Clower used to tell a version of that involving Uncle Versie some 50 years ago.

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Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.