Wednesday Silliness ~ We Need It

.    Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? 
A. Their birthplace 

·      Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? 
A.Obsession

·      Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One Thousand

·      Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? 
A. All were invented by women. 

·      Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? 
A. Honey 

·      Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the
Year? 
A. Father's Day 

·      In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight' 

·      It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. 

·      In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind
your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's' 

·      Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,
they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. 

·      At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their
elbow! 

·      Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. 
I cdnuolt blveiee
taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? 


·      YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2020 when... 
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three. 
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee 
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list