Thursday, January 6, 2011

YEAR END RESULTS FROM TSA AIRPORT SCREENINGS

Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the 
Department of Homeland Security

Transvestites                                  133

Hernia’s                                        1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases                        3,172

Enlarged Prostates                        8,249

Breast Implants                             59,350

Natural Blondes                             3

Terrorist Plots Discovered           0
Posted by at

28 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 6, 2011 at 4:02 AM

    Whew... They kept us safe!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 5:25 AM

    Nickie, must have worked.

    ReplyDelete
  3. EndoJanuary 6, 2011 at 5:32 AM

    Wow, three natural blondes, Sounds high to me!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 6:14 AM

    Righty, that's because they checked all blondes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LLJanuary 6, 2011 at 6:18 AM

    It makes me proud to be an official US Government taxpayer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    LL, we can all hold our heads up high this day!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Christopher - Conservative PerspectiveJanuary 6, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    See, it's all about health care and transparency.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    Christopher, I personally believe it's about looking for natural blondes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. EuripidesJanuary 6, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    I'm a natural blonde, but believe me, the guys at the TSA weren't eying me.

    Or maybe they were. I don't care to know about that....

    ReplyDelete
  10. WomanHonorThyselfJanuary 6, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    good garsh did they find brain matter in the lefties by any chance?..lol

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Euripides, you are kinda pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    WHT, not one once was found.

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  13. stopsignJanuary 6, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    OK OK I confess I'm not a Natural Blonde.

    ReplyDelete
  14. SupiJanuary 6, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    I just don't know what to say...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Fuzzy SlippersJanuary 6, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    Odie getting to the heart of the matter: priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  16. sig94January 6, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Perhaps we can use iron filings and scotch tape to make interesting coments on various parts of our bodies. Give the TSA lads some reading material while searching for implants.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    Stopsign, I love it when a not-so natural blonde gets in the spirit of things.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Supi, is that a blonde joke?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    Fuzzy, we do our best around here ... see what you were missing?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Fuzzy SlippersJanuary 6, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I was missing soooo much! :(

    I blame you. And George Bush.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Sig94, kind of a grown-up dress up party huh.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    Touche' Fuzzy! :D

    ReplyDelete
  23. MattJanuary 6, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    Great success. If only every gubmint program were this full of win.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Woodsterman (Odie)January 6, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    Matt ... sure?

    ReplyDelete
  25. USA_AdmiralJanuary 7, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    I am surprised how high the natural blond number is and how low the hernia number is. Take a walk through Wal Mart and you will see why I think the hernia number is low.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Woodsterman (Odie)January 7, 2011 at 7:20 AM

    Admiral, so you want me to go through WalMart and check for Hernias. Why not ... I'll probably fit right in.

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    Lol good times.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Woodsterman (Odie)January 8, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Trestin ... nothing but the best.

    ReplyDelete

Put it here ... I can't wait to read it. I have the Captcha turned OFF but blogger insists it be there. You should be able to bypass it.

** Anonymous, please use a name at the end of your comment. You're all starting to look alike.

*** Moderation has been added due to Spam and a Commenter a little too caustic. I welcome comments, but talk of killing and racist (or even close to racist) are not welcome.

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