Monday, April 6, 2015

An Alien Story

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a 
gas station that was closed for the night. They 
approached one of the gas pumps and the younger 
alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. 
We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated 
his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Angry at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his 
ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. 
We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 
'You probably don't want to do that! 
I really think that will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed 
his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. 
A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the 
younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, 
smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained 
consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened 
his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, 
wiser alien who was standing over him 
shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, 
fried alien. 'He almost killed me! 
How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler 
on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing 
I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never 
mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his 
shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'

Thanks Hal


LL said...

Now THAT is timeless wisdom. NEVER mess with a guy like that.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. I'm going to have to agree with his assessment too.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

DoubleTroubleTwo said...

Lol. Hope you had a good Easter Odie :-)

Ron Russell said...

So true! It was hard for me to even tie mine in a knot!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, I never do ... anymore.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, we can all learn something from this tail.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

2T2, it's always fun with little ones about ... I hope yours was great too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, why's that?

edutcher said...

Words to live by.

Proof said...

I've used mine to knock birds' nests out of trees, but never thought about sticking it in my ear!

cube said...

Ear? I'm not touching this post with a 10 foot hose except to say that size does matter... width ;)

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, words to live longer by.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Proof, I have, but it didn't fit.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, we knew that. Some "Little" guy thought of that one.

Brighid said...

dammit, now I'm going to be laughing when I'm at the gas station...

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Brighid, Glad I could brighten your otherwise boring trip to the gas station.