Friday, April 19, 2013

16 Police Officers Comments

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. 
The comments were taken off actual police car videos 
around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the 
one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. 
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your 
birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? 
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be 
chasing you."(LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I 
guess that means I can write anything I want to 
on the ticket, huh?"(MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but 
I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm 
the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning 
you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine 
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat 
or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place 
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn 
dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my 
wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but 
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal 
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? 

You're right, we don't.. Sign here."


LL said...

16 is my favorite.

Sheik YerBouti said...

All are great but 16 is the definite winner.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, not enough buttons undone.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Booti, and much to her surprise.

cube said...

#9 and #10 made me chuckle.

BTW I did get out of many tickets in my day... so much for #16.

Opus #6 said...

All were good, 16 made me LOL.

Sandee said...

I love them all and I've known some mighty funny cops over the years. Many have said similar things.

Have a terrific day and weekend Odie. ☺

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Cube, Myself being a woodworker can understand how a Cube could get out of a ticket ... especially a HOT one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, are you a good driver or does 16 apply to you?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, most of us would have no sense if it weren't for our humor.

trailbee said...

No. 16 reminds me of Cannonball Run :)

edutcher said...

The cop just sees The Blonde, grabs his head, rolls his eyes, and waves her on through.

And, no, I'm not kidding.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trailbee, cannon balls don't have legs do they.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, blondes can do that.

Ron Russell said...

In the old days they never did make any of those comments---It was always "assume the position". I was a very bad boy!!!!

Velcro said...

Oooh, that last one is bad... was it Shakespeare that said, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"

Teresa said...

They were all good. But number 16 was the best. It had me laughing.

edutcher said...

Especially the well-built ones.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, assume the position!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Velcro, I would say it dates back a lot further.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Teresa, glad you enjoy.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, yes especially them.

Always On Watch said...

#15 never works.

What might work in the name of a famous and powerful attorney that the driver has on retainer.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh