Monday, August 13, 2012

*A Few Months From Now...*


Stolen From Joe Lyddon:

The Presidential election of 2012 was too close to call.  Neither Mitt Romney nor Barack Obama had enough electoral votes to win.  There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but it was mutually decided that a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the most sportsmanlike way to settle this election.

*The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election and become the President of the United States of America. *


After much of back and forth negotiations, it was decided that the contest would take place on the remote frozen Lake Metigoshe, in north central North Dakota, a non-swing state that could be considered a neutral site. There were to be no observers present with each fishing candidate. Both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake near the Canadian border. Both would return at 5 PM with their day's catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.


*At the end of the first day *of fishing in sub-zero temperatures out on the lake, The Michigan raised Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 walleyes.


Soon thereafter, Barack Obama returned and had no fish.


Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day, or something, and hopefully, he would catch up with the next day's fishing tally.


*At the end of the second day,* Mitt came in with 20 northern pike and Barack came in again with none.


*That evening,* the Democratic Advisors, Cabinet Members, Appointees and Czars to Obama got together secretly, and his Campaign Manager, David Axelrod said, "We think Romney is a low-life, cheating Republican son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow, we all recommend that you don't even bother fishing, President Obama.  Hide on the shore in the evergreens and spy on Romney to see how he's cheating so we can expose the truth about his "not being fair".  We can leak that shocking revelation to our friends in the media so the public will be on our side, regardless of the outcome of the agreed competition.


*The next night,* after Mitt returned with 50 walleyes, pike and trout and Barack again had none, the Democrats got together to hear Barack Obama's eye witness report of how the Republicans were cheating.


The astonished incumbent Obama told his supporters,


*"Let me, umm, make this, umm, perfectly clear...you're not gonna to believe this...  but he's cuttin holes in the ice!"*

34 comments:

Race Bannon said...

Yah right, they might be able to figure that out, but they'll never figure out this budget thing...

...three years after President Romney, "You're not going to believe this, he lowered interest rates, stimulated activity, and more revenue came in!"


(I was going say, 'cut spending' but I don't think that will happen unless Obama wins, and we go broke...)

USA_Admiral said...

LOL. I guess in Kenya they do not do much ice fishing?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Race, This is just a fishing story, LOL. I think we can't afford four more years of someone in the White House that doesn't know enough to put a hole in the ice.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, I wouldn't think so.

Scott Way said...

I say we do a "Means Testing" on the candidates. The IQ quotient in the White House has just gone up exponentially; Biden vs. Ryan.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scott, liberal speak sounds stupid no matter who it comes from. Biden is just at the top of the morooon list.

T.N.B.C. said...

I hope he's keeping his worms warm...

Adrienne said...

Too funny. Brought a smile and a laugh to start my week. Thanks, Odie.

(P.S. - Where did the troll come from?? I'm ignoring him since trolls love to be fed.)

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. Yep many dems are that stupid. Love it.

Have a terrific day. :)

Ron Russell said...

City slickers know nothing about rugged individualism and how to fin for themselves---they all have that herd mentality! Cowards always find confort in numbers but when left alone to confront the elements they are helpless.

Ron Russell said...

Looks like you have a troll who likes to copy and paste. Bet you can find this same comment on other conservative sites.

Opus #6 said...

Odie, excellent post. Looks like you attracted someone on White House payroll. Fun stuff!

edutcher said...

That gag is probably a lot closer to the truth than any of us want to believe.

PS As The Blonde would say, "I want some of what EzzZee is smoking".

Velcro said...

I wouldn't have been surprised if BO had ordered fish from some market to be delivered. He hasn't worked a day in his life and is a weasel.

The troll has bumped his head a few too many times on the underside of the bridge...

The War Planner said...

Odie,

Cool! You got a troll sniffing around your site. Be very quiet; don't scare him away and lemme get my M-1. Maybe I can bag him with a head shot and we can stuff him.

He'd look nice over your mantle.

:-D

The Conservative Lady said...

Obama doesn't believe in this:

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

It's not surprising he doesn't know how to fish, let alone cut a hole in the ice. Either that or it's Bush's fault he never learned.

Conservative Pup said...

Found you by way of Adrienne's Corner and am glad I did! Gave me a good laugh to start out the day.

And the troll is pretty funny too.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

P, once he finally gets that hole in the ice I hope he dips his worm in it.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

And now to my own personal TROLL EZ ... Sing along with me if you're old enough to remember this: "Happy TROLLS to you, until we meet again ..."

Little TROLL EZ ... I just don't allow lying here at my blog, so here comes my management decision. YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Adrienne, You show excellent taste by coming here and laughing.

What Troll?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, the word I prefer to use is "most".

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, I used to ice fish here and I also loved riding my snowmobile out on the ice too ... it was flat and fast.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Ron, he's probably everywhere DuhWons champagne funds will take him.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, those were my thoughts exactly. May he put his worm in an Ice-Hole.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Edutcher, I'm really getting to like your blond.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Velcro, The TROLL is completely my own fault. I keep hanging TROLL bait here at the old blog.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

TWP, You keep him and hang him over your mantle. I have a wood stove.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Lady, I knew one day you'd come around ... It's Bush's Fault.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Pup, glad you could join us here. He's my first Troll, and you can have him if you like.

Scott Way said...

Has the troll been deleted? I must have missed him. Well I need my own useful puppet...send him over.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Scott, I left him there as a warning for far too long. Sorry you missed him.

edutcher said...

Odie, most people do.

Always On Watch said...

Odie,
How do you find this good stuff? You post items that nobody else does!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

AOW, because I'm dumber than the average bear.