Monday, April 4, 2011

Bud, the Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote 
mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a 
brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. 
 
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, 
RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 
and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many 
cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give 
me a calf?"
 
Bud  looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at 
his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 
"Sure, Why not?"
 
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook 
computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, 
and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls 
up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which 
he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area 
in an ultra-high-resolution photo..
 
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility 
in Hamburg , Germany .
       
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that 
the image has been processed and the data stored. He then 
accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected 
Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a 
few minutes, receives a response.
 
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his 
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy 
and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
 
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"
says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the 
animals and looks on with amusement as the young man 
stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
 
Then Bud says to the young man, "If I can tell you exactly 
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
 
The young man thinks about it for a second and then 
says, "Okay, why not?"
 
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. 

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, 
"but how did you guess that?"
           
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed 
up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid 
for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. 
You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying
to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't 
know a thing about how working people make a living - 
or about cows, for that matter.
 
This is a herd of sheep.... 
 
Now give me back my dog.

Thanks Dan !

22 comments:

Randy-g said...

Outstanding! Too close to the truth.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Randy, don't let that guy take your dog.

Opus #6 said...

That poor pooch in the trunk. I hope Bunni doesn't see this post.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Opie, do you mean the calf?

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

Good one Odie!

Supi said...

Funny!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Christopher, don't forget to vote.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Supi, give these nimrods their walking papers in 2012.

Trestin said...

Good one!

LL said...

I laugh because it's funny -- and I cry because that's the Congressional mindset.

Pierro said...

Hahahahahahaaaaaaa
this was truly funny.
so correct as well

bonks now I am going to share it with all of my friends

WomanHonorThyself said...

gimme back mah dog! lolz

banned said...

That guy was in England last month.
He'd left all his high tech gimmicks behind and thought he might be running late.
Spotting a rustic milkmaid hard at work he asked if she knew the time.

"Not offhand luvver but wait a mo'"
She jiggled the cows teats in a very particular way before saying
"It's half past three my handsome"

"Golly gee" said the Congressman, "however could you know that?"

"Well it's like this, when her udder isn't in the way I can see the church clock from here"

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Trestin, keep an eye on your dog.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

LL, I laugh too, then I cry because it's a true story.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Pierro, Glad I could make you laugh. Thanks for the bonkstershare.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

WHT, here's your dog ma lady.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Banned, she does know him. Leave it to our hero not to see a church clock.

USA_Admiral said...

This one tells it all.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Admiral, This one is so slick he could be President.

Reaganite Republican said...

lololol

Good one, sir

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

RR, thank you sir.