Tuesday, April 7, 2020

ECONOMIC STIMULUS


For your information!

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive an economic stimulus check from the government. It is indeed a very exciting program and I’ll attempt to explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q:   What is an Economic Stimulus?

A:   It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q:   Where will the government get this money that they are sending to the taxpayers?

A:   From the taxpayers.

Q:   Is the government simply giving me back my own money then?

A:   No, only a smidgen of it.

Q:   What is the purpose of this payment?

A:   The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q:   Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A:   Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:



*  If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

*  If you purchase a computer, the money goes to India, Taiwan or China.

*  If you purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.

*  If you buy a fuel efficient car the money will go to Japan or Korea.

*  If you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

 Instead, keep the money in America by”

   (1)   Spending it at a yard sale, or

   (2)   Going to a ballgame, or

   (3)   Spending it on prostitutes, or

   (4)   Buying beer, or

   (5)   Buying a tattoo

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

CONCLUSION:   Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me I’m just glad I could be of help.

Thanks David

12 comments:

edutcher said...

You worked hard on that, didn't you?

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha. I linked this post to Happy Tuesday.

Have a fabulous day, Odie. ♥

Paul L. Quandt said...

Meet many tattooed prostitutes at the yard sales you go to, do you Odie?

Thanks for the post.
Paul L. Quandt

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

edutcher, you know it!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sandee, Woohoo happy happy fun fun!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Paul, that's where I meet all of my prostitutes.

Feline Opines, the World from a Feline Point of View said...

Great explanation!

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Dear Kitteh, glad you liked those pearls of wisdom.

Kid said...

Too true.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Kid, just the right amount of true.

Jeffery in Alabama said...

That about sums thing up. LOL

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Jeffery, I can't think of anything to add.